TARZANIA
RECENT events have illuminated one of the recurring problems of international relations: what to do with deposed dicta- ip. France has got landed with 'Baby c'c' Duvalier, and, like the cartoon char- aster with a stray piece of sticking plaster, Plat can't shake him off. The United States plat vernment, which until very recently tyrant Duvalier in the category of friendly Tant (or 0.S .0.B .), has suddenly de- !fled that he is an 'undesirable alien', and _won't take him. At the same time, howev- '1., the Reagan administration offers American-hospitality to Ferdinand Marcos (O.S.O.B), whom the White House press spokesman describes as 'an old friend'. We believe that these embarrassments could all be avoided. What is needed is a new country catering specifically for deposed dictators. This would be a fully sovereign state, a member of the United Nations and a signatory of all the appropriate interna- tional declarations. Its constitution would guarantee respect for human rights, the rule of law, the separation of powers, and regular, free elections with a secret ballot. It would be called Tarzania, and situated in what the UN estate agent describes as 'a choice location on Iran-Iraq borders'. Its motto would be: 'God, Liberty, Democra- cy'. Hither all the dumped despots could gracefully retire, with all their families, medals, spies and sycophants, an embar- rassment to no one except themselves. Here they could eternally compete for power and fortune, dog eating dog. Just imagine: you arrive to observe the Marcos- Duvalier election contest. Your taxi-driver is a Greek Colonel. The hotel manager is called Galtieri. The head-waiter is called Ceausescu. The barber is a Somoza. (`Razor, sir?'). All we lack is a suitable national anthem.
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