Diplomatic language
Sir: In his little tilt at me over Europe Mr Heifer describes me as a `rootless intellec- tual' (`The turning of the Tories', 13 June). Simon's well dug in all right. Root him up from the warm soil of his prejudice and he'd scream like a carrot. Like many anoth- er I like him, though you would as much discuss grown-up politics with Simon as you would with a new-born carrot. Which doesn't make him wrong about me in every particular. My having had truck with the foreigner has indeed skewed my views: froggies, krauts, the yanks, russkies, the chinks, yes, I've talked to the whole rummy bunch. Still, it's less rummy than conversing with carrots.
I could have mounted a more convincing attack on myself than Mr Heifer did, if he'd troubled to ask for my help. Though had he ploughed through my 'pronunciamentos' more thoroughly he'd have found that I held from the start that the Maastricht Treaty was an unnecessary one which cir- cumstances obliged us to dilute, then accept. Politicians twitch about a bit in response to events, and having spotted a rather obvious opening for a bit more dilut- ing I twitched towards re-negotiation. Shall I tell you something really extraordinary, Simon? If Mrs Thatcher had been in power she'd have got a worse deal than Mr Major and signed it. Oh yes, that's the world as it goes. Come on now, face up to it, show courage. You could start by reading The Burrow by Kaflca (rootless fellow). It's about a rabbit who is forever digging in against imaginary threats. You could iden- tify with that rabbit, Simon. And it's one up on a new-born carrot.
George Walden MP
House of Commons, London SW!
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