20 JUNE 1998, Page 25

Match of the date

MY SCHEME for declaring this column a World-Cup-free zone was shelved when I drew Tunisia in the office sweep. These plucky little date-pickers, I reckoned, could go all the way, and should certainly see off their first-round opponents, whoever they were. With gross unfairness, though, the sandboys were forced to play on grass, and two offside goals and a wall-eyed referee left them with a victory that was no more than moral. Their columnar supporters were sorely provoked and were obliged to kick some heads in self-defence. My ban is now reinstated.