Westminster Corridors
Now, 'tis a rare event even in these frenzied days for the Heirs to a great Fortune to commence
disputing over the Spoils whilst the present Owner remains hale and hearty, and, still more, asserts at intervals that he expects to retain possession of his Effects for no short time to come. Yet this unseemly Wrangle has erupted concerning the Tory Estate, once extensive in all the Countries of this Kingdom, but now much-reduced and confined to the Southern areas of England, whence indeed hails Master Heath the present Possessor.
In consequence of which, the Claimants to the Estate reason that, if Master Heath were allowed to keep their inheritance till his death of old age, it would in all likelihood be so ruined as to be scarcely worth inheriting. Besides which they express a doubt that he was ever the rightful Owner at all, hazarding the opinion that he was a changeling, falsely insinuated into their birth right in place of those of true family stock, and that this is confirmed by his every Action, which shows him to be a stranger to their Habits and Traditions.
Though the number of Heirs and Claimants grows or decreases hourly, yet there are four with plausible Prospects. WILLIAM, KEITH and MARGARET were indeed reared within the Manor House and given much cause to hope that they would succeed to Land and Title both, and EDWARD, though he had long ago incurred Master Heath's displeasure and been banished for that reason (which some ascribe to jealousy and fear of Potent Rivals), had since made his Name and Fortune in their World, and had indeed been invited back by Master Heath, who calculated that the addition of such a luminary would mightily assist his failing fortunes.
WILLIAM founded his claim to the Estate upon his popularity and liberality, loudly declaring that he would employ the fortunes in a
manner pleasing to all, and heed the Advice of those with Contrary Views, excepting in certain
Trivial matters, as namely the proper mode of punishing Murderous Enemies of the Queen, the management of the Irish branches of the Estate (now in hideous Decay and under the Control of Ruffians), and suchlike. To Master Heath, however, he gave the Assurance that, again excepting Trivial matters, his Ordering of family affairs would differ in no essential respect from his recent decisions. This Pledge having failed to persuade that ambitious worthy to relinquish the Estate in his favour, WILLIAM confessed tearfully that Loyalty and Honour would not Permit him to persist with his Claim against Master Heath, at least for a month or two, or at the first ante mortem reading of the Will.
It was altogether opposite with KEITH, who proclaimed that he had discovered the secret cause of the Decline of the Estate, namely that Master Heath had been much too free with the spending of Money, that this Practice was alien to the familty Tradition, and that his Task would be to restore the Virtues of Thrift and Self-Help to their place in the family Crest. But when he criticised certain among the Tenants and Villagers for their Ignorance of Restraint, he was himself criticised in turn so sharply that he turned on his Heel, said that others must try as best they could to govern the refractory Multitudes, but that he would return to his Books.
Much praised for her Shrewdness, MARGARET nonetheless offered a Treatise on the wise Accumulation of material Goods in anticipation of Retirement, which various Hacks and Placemen pretended to find a shocking Case of
selfish Hoarding — Hoarding being a sensible Precaution which the Populace fiercely dislikes, being itself Improvident and Careless of the Morrow. Whereupon MARGARET became a Recluse, at least until the Storm abates.
Which leaves EDWARD, who asserts to all that Loyalty is a Virtue but that it cannot be allowed to prevent timely Change, also that Master Heath is a Wise and Popular Landlord and it is a Pity that so Few Hold this Opinion of him, and more in like Vein. 'Tis a sad Commentary on our fallen Nature that Master Heath holds this excellent Man in greater Hostility than all the Rest.
Tom Puzzle
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