21 JUNE 1975, Page 4

Peregrinations

Sir: 'What with one first cousin in the Eleven and another in the Procession of Boats I went along to the Fourth of June at Eton.' (Why 'along'? Would not 'went to' be enough?) Those of your readers who also have relatives at that big comprehensive school near Slough are not impressed; those who have not feel that they are being condescended to by a toffeenosed twit as, indeed, they are.

'Last time I dined with Price Michael we were in the same house at school' (you see what I mean, sir, by being condescended to by a toffee-nosed twit?) 'we ate corned beef floating in water, turnips, and mashed potato with lumps in it.'

For your readers' sake, if not for God's, please get shot of this arsecrawler, and restore to us your Mrs Vandyke Price, who writes not only helpful, but mouth-watering, gastronomic notes, without telling us where she was at school and with whom, and spares us the mashed potatoes with

lumps in it. Cyril Ray Albany, London WI