Listed
(With Apologies to W. S. Gilbert)
In this modern world we live in, there are many to be found Who never would be missed; I've got a little list, Of pestilential people who could best be underground; I've got a little list; the never would be missed.
The IRA supporter, who with bombing hopes to win; The Protestant in Ulster, who thinks Popery a sin; The Palestine guerrilla, who won't recognise the Jew, But doesn't bat an eyelid when he has to kill a few. I've got them on my list; and they'd none of them be missed; They'd none of them be missed!
The publisher who turns away your novel masterpiece; The gloomy pessimist; I've got him on my list. And women who on telephones will talk and never cease; The female eulogist; they never will be missed. The shop assistant, who with satisfaction smug will say, "Oh no sir, we've seen none of those for many a long day!", The taximan who draws up and says, "Sorry, going home!, The gardener who puts upon his lawn a plastic gnome.
I've got them on thy list; and they'd none of them be missed; They'd none of them be missed!
The left-wing politicians who don't practise what they preach; The red trade unionist; I've got them on my list. The rabid revolutionary, who violence does teach; A nasty extremist; he never would be missed.
The right-wing politician, who sees under every bed, A diabolic plot that's been concocted by a Red;
The charitable worker, who is -holier than thou";
The man, who treats his politics just like a sacred
cow;
I've got them on my list; and they'd none of them be missed;
They'd none of them be missed! Basil Charles
Previous page
