22 DECEMBER 1984, Page 22

Spectator Christmas Quiz

Set by Geoffrey Wheatcroft

1) The passing year

Where in 1984?

a) was an aphrodisiac for cockroaches . developed b) was an aphrodisiac effective on rats tested on human beings c) was an anti-depressant drug tested as an aphrodisiac d) were two former finance ministers forced to resign under suspicion of financial irregularity e) was a senior general sacked for alleged homosexuality f) did three hippopotami die of shock when an elephant let hot water into their pool Also in 1984?

g) which astronaut came down to earth with a bump h) whose last breakfast was Coca Cola and Cheez Doodles, eaten in pink pyjamas

2) Another election year gone

a) who was the unsuccessful American presidential candidate in 1972?

b) and in 1964?

c) who was the 'third party' candidate in 1948?

d) and in 1968?

e) who was the successful running mate in 1972?

f) and how did the successful running mate in 1932 describe his job of Vice- President?

3) Members and nippers

Last year which MP's?

a) son was convicted of using a knife which he carried 'to protect hmself from blacks' but which he used to rob Amer- ican tourists b) daughter was paid £25,000 for her first modelling job c) son shared a bank account with his father d) son was convicted of disorderly conduct

e) wife was elected to Parliament

4) Prime donne

Name the operatic heroine of: a) La fanciulla del West b) La Traviata c) The Bartered Bride d) The Italian Girl in Algiers e) La Boheme f) Die Frau ohne Schatten

5) Obiter dicta

Who said in the last year, and why?

a) 'Anyone who's ever had a kitchen done over knows that it never gets done as quickly as you wish it would.'

b) 'The best moment since my granny caught her tit in a mangle.'

c) 'I take your point about frankness.'

d) '1 have the impression [that England] is on the verge of a spiritual revival, but it depends what you mean by a revival.'

e) 'There will be no retraction, no capi- tulation, no compromise and no sur- render.'

f) 'Praise the Lord.'

6) Stony-faced

Where in London do monuments com- memorate?

a) Byron, with his dog Bo'sun b) King Charles I on horseback c) William Huskisson (but not the railway engine) d) The 7th Earl of Shaftesbury e) Queen Anne with four women at her feet f) Samuel Plimsoll

7) In the park

Who plays what at?

a) Stradey Park b) Wankhede Stadium c) Candlestick Park d) The Hawthorns e) Lord's (two answers) f) Melbourne Cricket Ground (apart from cricket)

8) Sainted symbols

With which saint do you associate?

a) arrows b) breasts on a dish c) a flayed skin d) three gold balls e) a spiked wheel f) forceps gropping a tooth

9) The Blue Riband

Which Derby winner?

a) was named after a ducal palace

b) was named after an even grander abode c) would now be Lvov d) goes with grated Parmesan e) might have been delphinium f) was named after a baseball player

10) Animal kingdom

What kind of creature is a —?

a) Brimstone b) Natterjack c) Monitor d) Red-necked footman e) Shag f) Angel

11) Untimely ends

Who died?

a) when a seaplane landed on top of his yacht b) struck by a branch falling from a tree in the Champs Elysees c) when his horse trod in a molehill d) eating a water ice e) after sticking his conductor's baton into his foot

12) What's in a name

As what are the following better known?

a) S. L. Clemens b) Eric Blair e) Cicily Fairfield d) Mary Ann Evans e) Diana Fluck

13) Argot along with that

Who means what by these expressions?

a) the Old Bill b) a bogle c) Bottle the splonk d) Swimming e) pied (as in 'He's pied it') romantique style

14) Borrowed titles

The following are all titles of books which are quotations; who wrote each?

a) 'Tender is the Night' b) 'Vanity Fair' c) 'A Handful of Dust' d) 'Antic Hay' e) 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' f) 'Dusty Answer'

15) Epithet-mongering

Whose traditional sobriquet was?

a) the Lion of the North b) the Wizard of the North c) the First Gentleman of Europe d) the Sage of Chelsea e) the Father of History f) the Ettrick Shepherd

16) Last words

Of which books were these the last words?

a) `. . . and they were both ever sensible of the warmest gratitude towards the per- sons who, by bringing her into Der- byshire, had been the means of uniting them.'

b) `. . . for simultaneously, like giants plunged into the years, they touch epochs that are immensely far apart, separated by the slow accretion of many, many days — in the dimension of Time.'

c) 'We all love Miss Matty, and I somehow think we are all us better when she is near us.'

d) "I don't believe that." he answered.'

e) 'Zembla. A distant northern land.'

f) 'And that is the end of my story.'

Among this week's contributors: Alexandra Artley works for Harper's & Queen Hal Colebatch is an Australian pub- lisher and journalist

John Martin Robinson's latest book is The Latest Country Houses (Bodley Head £15)