Television
Half-baked
Richard Ingrams
Breakfast television, which made its J-.0 debut on Monday, is something for which there is no demand. The BBC are do- ing it because they want to get in first before AM-TV and AM-TV are just doing it for the money on the dubious assumption that anything that is a success in America will be a success here. Both companies have obviously been heavily influenced by what they have seen of the American version. They both emphasise the word 'relaxed' and the BBC presenters wear fluffy jumpers and try rather desperately to be jocular. The only good thing about the BBC pro- gramme is that it is live. But there is no earthly reason why anyone of intelligence should want to watch it. On Did You See . . ? the editor, Ron Neil, an earnest bespectacled Scotsman, made something of the point that Breakfast TV was going to be a jump ahead of the morning newspapers, but on Day One the idea seemed to be to read bits out of the Daily Telegraph. Throughout, you get the feeling of people desperately trying just to kill time even if it means telling you what the weather is like outside or what's going to be on telly later in the day. This impression of time-killing is helped by a set that looks like a kind of waiting room with hideous leather settees. You half expect the proceedings to be inter- rupted by a flight announcement or the en- trance of a nurse to say, 'The doctor will see you now, Mr Bough.' I suppose a lot of in- terest centred on how Selina Scott would fare, the BBC having lured her over with a £40,000 transfer fee from ITN. Like all the glamorous lady newscasters (Ford, Rippon etc) who have stepped down from their thrones to do the can-can or interview teenage drug-addicts, she seemed dimin- ished and even a bit gawky. On Did You See . . ? Michael Deakin the TV-AM editor, boiled down the battle of the breakfast giants to the question: 'Would you rather have Selina or Anna?' To which my answer is: 'Neither, thank you very much.'
Earlier this year when he was doing a BBC chat show I gave good marks to Terry Wogan for being more adventurous than Michael Parkinson and inviting on people
'That's hint, Inspector.'
like myself and Auberon Waugh, something Parky would never have done in a month of Saturdays. Returning now in the Parky slot, though announcing de- fiantly, 'I am not the new Parkinson, I am the old Wogan,' Terry seemed to be revert- ing to a safer Parkyesque approach. It is always a good thing to start with a bang, but with guests like Diana Rigg, Nigel Dempster and Ronnie Barker there was a definite air of déjà vu not to say deja enten- du, if that is the right expression. In other words, there was not much to distinguish it from Russell Harty. Wogan, who has a good line in repartee, is cut out for better things than chatting up showbiz celebrities. Now is the time for him to branch out and bring in a few people who have something to say other than things like 'Goodness I love acting. And I love audiences. And I love theatre.' (D. Rigg).
Johnnie Speight is such a good writer that I always found it hard to accept that the Garnetts (played by Warren Mitchell and Dandy Nichols) and their lodger, Min (played by Patricia Hayes), were not real people. In 1981 they were all living in Alf's retirement bungalow in Eastbourne where they were visited from time to time by his daughter (Una Stubbs) and his punk grand- son. Since then the Garnetts have not been seen on the screen and I fear that the powers that be have killed them off. Mean- while, Patricia Hayes is appearing as a down-and-out version of Min in a new series The Lady is a Tramp (C4). This is a kind of Waiting for Godot with laughs, but personally I would rather have Alf and Co back.
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