Ballad of Randolph Churchill

I can't imagine why they print the stuff.

I never dream of reading it, do you?

The fellow's little better than a tough.

I don't believe a word of it is true.

That tale about what happened at the Zoo— It's not what any gentleman would say— Such shocking taste and so unlikely, too—

But have you seen what Randolph wrote today?

The thing's no more than just a game of bluff.

He knows quite well they'd never dare to sue. He knows quite well it's really safe enough.

I think it's such a vulgar thing to do.

Why shouldn't Petronella dine with Hugh? And, if they did—why then, who cares, I pray?

Who cares if the Archbishop did have 'flu? But have you seen what Randolph wrote today ?

He always thinks it funny to be rough.

I call it boring. There is nothing new In all those anecdotes, hashed off the cuff, Of what they said and when to you-know-who, I don't care twopence for that rotten crew.

He knows about as much as nuts in May-

, Fact is he simply hasn't got a clue,

But have you seen what Randolph wrote today?

ENVOI

Prince, bolts are often awkward from the blue, That little meeting at Montego Bay— Just how would you explain if people knew?

But have you seen what Randolph wrote today?

CHRISTOPHER HOLLIS