22 NOVEMBER 1997, Page 75

No. 2012: Music hall

`My old man's a dustman, he wears a dust- man's hat', goes the old song. Substituting another wage-earner for 'dustman' and, if you like, 'old woman' for 'old man', please provide a music hall song (maximum 16 lines). Entries to 'Competition No. 2012' by 4 December.