YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. During the recent glorious weather, I have found it uncomfortable to wear any- thing other than flimsy cotton skirts and dresses. Perhaps you can tell me, Mary, how one can guard against swathes of the aforementioned fabric becoming lodged in the cleft of one's bottom? B.B., Norfolk A. Too many Englishwomen have been standing at sinks, ovens or in shopping queues this summer in blissful ignorance that this sort of buttockal pegging has taken place. Those in the know buy stomach con- trol pants from Marks & Spencer and wear them back to front. By this method a firm panel of corsetry can serve as a buttock- blocker, preventing any fabric access to the buttockal cleavage you mention.
Q. What is one supposed to do with dailies during the summer? We have hardly been near our London house since the school holidays began and, though our daily is happy to do any amount of mending and silver-cleaning, there are simply not 20 hours per week of it to do while we are away. Obviously we cannot lay her off for the summer since she needs the money and has already had three weeks' paid holiday
Dear Mary.. .
earlier in the year. Our daily loves work and loves to be kept busy. What do other people do?
Name withheld, Ladbroke Sq., London W11 A. Since you are paying your daily anyway, why not take a tip from one of London's most maternal social leaders who 'gives' her daily to hopeless bachelor friends in her neighbourhood whenever she plans a lengthy period of absence from the capital? Insisting that it is a present from her and that she will flatly refuse to allow them to pay the daily's wage, she has computed that, although her intentions are entirely altruistic, she generally recoups over and above what she has laid out in wages in the crates of wine and floral expressions of gratitude she receives on her return. Q. A couple of long-standing acquaintances have let us know that they are planning to move to a new home alarmingly close to our own. Although we were formerly great friends, over recent years both my husband and I have grown to find the husband boorish and boring. We live in a large house with a swimming-pool, whereas the cottage they are planning to buy has only mdagre facilities. How can we dissuade them from constantly visiting us when they take up residence?
L.V., Glos A. Ask the wife if she could meet you at her earliest convenience for a confidential chat. Request that she come alone. This will cause consternation. Take advantage of her discomfort by taking as long as possible to come to the point. After an hour or so of idle chatter, tell her that in all honesty you would prefer the couple not to live in such close proximity to you. Explain that, for many years, you have entertained secret lustful thoughts about her husband which you may well find difficult — if not impossi- ble — to keep in check if you are confront- ed with his person on anything more than a sporadic basis. This will enable you to reap the results you require while still retaining the semblance of cordiality.
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