23 DECEMBER 1989, Page 100

No. 1608: Cliché time

You know the form of cliché which goes `The film's bedroom scenes make the orgies of Tiberius look like a vicarage tea-party', or 'George Lodwick on the wing, whose dreadlocks make Ruud Gul- lies look like a crew-cut . . .'. You are invited to write a description of a play, film or sporting event in ripe journalese, incor- porating at least six clichés of this type. Maximum 150 words. Entries to 'Competi- tion No. 1608' by 12 January.