23 FEBRUARY 1924, Page 9

THE SPRING CRUISE.

THE Admiralty will have its little joke. Each year, in the depth of winter, the Fleet assembles at Portland. Up goes a notice on the Ward Room board, which is greeted with roars of derision by the assembled company. It is headed, " Spring Cruise," and goes on to say that Officers should provide themselves with white uniform. Unfortunately, it never says whether it is white fur or white duck with which we are to proVide ourselves. Anyhow, our Navigator, who is a cynical and unbelieving old bird, calls the messenger and tells him to go to the Paymaster's store and get him two of the thickest Service vests he can find. The weather at Portland, where we wait for a week, carries on the Admir- alty joke with great gusto. The worst sou'westerly gale of the year blows for three days. No boats can run to Weymouth, Cheshil Beach and all appertaining thereto is flooded Out, while our good old English winter does its damnedest all round the coast.

We started On our joy-ride this year in the very worst of it all. We were moving about by the time we got to Portland Bill, and as we passed the Scillies it was working up for a real good time. Thereafter we got it in the neck. Ushant light was just a blear, and the Bay proceeded to try to live up to its reputation. We fairly wallowed in it, and the amount of water we took on board was a marvel. Still, there was one consolation. We looked across at the destroyers and wondered how human beings could stand that kind of life. They were standing on their noses, they were standing on their tails, that is to say, when they were not trying to roll completely round and up again. Finally, it became so bad that our long- suffering smaller brethren were sent in to a neighbouring harbour, and I should think they were the most thankful people on the High Seas when that order came. We plugged along through it as is the wont of big ships, and finally fetched up at the Rock, which is to be our base for the cruise.

Gib never seems to alter by so much as a hairbreadth, the very hulks in the harbour have a sort of permanent look, as if they defied anyone to shift them an inch. We started our first day there with a misunderstanding. We had been distinctly told that we were coming to the Sunny South (see steamship advertisements),' and that, such was our good fortune, we were going to miss the terrible English winter. All I can say is, that if they had more rain at home that day than we did, they must have done pretty well.

We were greeted soon after our arrival by the great Gibraltarian jest. It is used by high and low as the first opening of conversation with a Naval Officer, and runs like this : " He, he (this indicates light laughter), we always say that when the Fleet comes in here the bad weather comes with it" 'managed an answering smile the first time it was used to me, but on the thirtieth time I could only murmur under my breath George Robey's classic word'"Shurrup."

The inhabitants of the Rock have another annoying habit. You meet them on a day when the heavens are emptying themselves, when the tennis courts are under water and the dockyard is a quagmire and they rub their hands and say, "We only want another twelve inches this month." I quite realize that they depend on the rain for their drinking water, but why rub it in to us who have been fed on Sunny South and white uniform stories for the last six weeks ? Anyhow we did get some decent weather a little later and all went well.

There is a wonderful, charm about this little town, however often one has visited it before. It is like coming back to an old friend of whom one knows the best and the worst. The weird Mediterranean smell greets you and turns your mind to hundreds of cheery days spent in places like this when one was younger and more irresponsible. I wonder if anyone has ever analysed correctly. that smell of a Mediterranean town. There's garlic in it, dust, oranges, sweat, scent of flowers, dried fruit, musty leather and a hundred other things, but it has a large ingredient of romance with it all. And what a mixture of people ! Yesterday within a hundred yards of Government House I passed the following types : a Greek sailor, a Spanish soldier, two Moors, an Irish guardsman, a British bluejacket, an American .sailor and two Japanese.. Not a bad bag for five minutes. Add to this a. crowd of tourists from a big liner in the harbour, plus the inhabitants of the place, and you have got a crowd which pretty well fills the narrow main street.

This year I have met again some of the inhabitants of the Rock whom I have not seen for some time. They are far from beautiful, not very popular, and their habits might be more pleasant. To avoid all misunder- standing I will say at once that they are the Rock apes. Many years ago, when I first knew the place, they used to come .down the Rock right into the town. They became such a nuisance that some of them had to be killed off, and they say that there are only about five remaining. If so, I saw the whole family last week, and an uglier lot I have seldom seen. Some of the people living on the slopes of the Rock are not at all enthusiastic about them, as the apes have got into the habit of invading the houses and . pinching what they can get. The other day they took a silver backed mirror as part of their loot, and the irate owner shad to watch them sitting on the Rock higher up and seriously regarding themselves in it.

The shops of the little main street are of never failing interest to me. I spend hours looking at them. The majority of the curio shops are kept by Indians, and the owners stand at the door and, if you pause for a second, forcibly push you into the shop to look at second-rate kimonos and Birmingham made Indian goods. Our bluejackets and the tourists provide them with an income. Shopping at these places gives one a real sporting contest. You see a thing you want and the proprietor alleges .that three pounds is the price. You get him down to two and then offer to toss him whether you pay him thirty shillings or two pounds. He always accepts the offer and the contest comes off. It is a good thing not to take a sensitive person in with one as they get restive under the strain of the bargaining and want you to accept before you feel you have got to rock bottom. I nearly lost a string of jade that way.

There is plenty of sport on the Rock while the Fleet is in. The ships challenge the various units of the garrison at every conceivable game, and the bluejacket plays his football whatever the temperature or the ground be like.

Chuck in some gunnery, a landing party or two, and the usual work of the ship, and we get along very well even though we are not wearing white uniform yet.

BISIL