"Spectator ," Competitions

RULES AND CONDITIONS

Entries must be typed or very clearly written on one side of the paper only The name and addre,, or ,pseudonyn, of the competitor must be on each entry and not on a separate sheet: When a word limit is set • words must be counted and- the number given. No entries can be returned. Prizes may be divided 'at the . discretion of t1 judge, or .withheld if no entry_ reaches the required standard. The judge reserves the right to print or quote from any entry. The judge's decision is final, and no correspondence can be entered into on the subject of the award. Entries must be addressed to :—The Editor, the Spectator, 99 Gower Street, London, W.C. 1, and be marked on the envelope Competition No. (—b .Competition No. 41 (SET BY " DOELL") A PRIZE of £2 2s. is offered for a new and true story of a bird or birds, told in not more than 150 words.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, January 25th, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of February 6th, 1932.

Competition No. 42 (SET BY "DCCLI.") Two PRIZES of £1 Is. each are offered for two thumbnail eSsays : (1) on seeing the French Art Exhibition ; (2) on not` seeing the French Art Exhibition. No essay may exceed 150 words.

Entries must be received not later than Monday, February 1st, 1932. The result of this competition will appear in our issue of February 13th, 1932.

The result of Competition No. 40 will appear in our next issue.

Limerick Competition No. 12 A PRIZE of £1 ls. is offered each week for a new and original' English Limerick verse on some subject dealt with in the current number of the Spectator.. The twelfth of these competitions closes on Monday, February 1st, 1932. Entries should be marked on the envelope " Limerick No. 12."

The result of the tenth of these competitions will be announced in our next issue.

[It is requested that to facilitate the work of the judges, entries should, when possible, he submitted on postcards.]

Report of Competition No. 39

(REPORT AND AWARD BY " CARD.")

A PRIZE Of.£2 2.S.wis offered for the best original epitaph on an undertaker in not more than ten lines of English verse.

The primary requirement of an epitaph is, not unnaturally, that it should be an epitaph, at any rate potentially. A number of competitors, however, submitted entries—many of them excellent in their own way—which by no stretch of the imagination could have been regarded as suitable for repro- duction on a tomb. There were many conventional epigrams, there was one rather over-vigorous Prothalamium, a ballad or two, an elegy (of some forty lines), and a number of dirges. The epitaph indeed was almost in the minority. Even some of the entries which conformed more precisely with the regulations allowed but little importance to the unfortunate undertak&. The death was the thing, and a greengrocer or an insurance agent would have filled the other half of the bill as adeqUately. We may take this as symptomatic of the progress of science. In some future issue we shall have an ode to a crematorium.

Out of a large entry those who stood out were : Rev. H. G. D. Lathom, Rev. A. 11. Storrs, Sylvia Groves, Stephen Cooke, J. K.. Spittal, Mrs. J. E. Parkinson and W. Hodgson Burnett.

' The prize is awarded to Miss Monica Redlich, 35 Emperor's Gate, S:W.7, and Miss E. M. Bancroft is highly commended. THE WLNNING ENTRY. '

Orz AN UNDERTAKER.

UWHONOITRED was the life he led

Stage-manhging the glorious dead, Till Death in gratitude agreed That he for once should play the lead.

MONICA REDLICIL

Highly Commended :

_ . EPITAPH ON AN UNDERTAKER.

Here, all-subservient to the dread decrees,

-Death's-faithful vassal, leader of his train,

Dispenser of his solemn mysteries, Enfranchised lies within the Lord's domain Daily his feudal dues to Death he paid :- ' The mirthless mien, convention's sad set face, The muted voice, the pilgrimages made To the dank churchyard at funereal pace. From Death's dark service loosed, he rests in peace, Achieving freedom .by his own decease. - Miss E, M. Bazicaorr.

Result- of Limerick Competition No. 9 THE most popular subjects this week have been Ski-ing in Scotland, the Future of Hitlerism, Physical Training in Schools and the Virtues of Tar.

The prize of £1 Is. Od. is awarded to the author of the unsigned stanza on the last of these topics, sent front Salisbury Tower, Windsor Castle. Will the author please send a name to which a cheque may be sent ?

The following are highly commended :—Jocelyn C. Lea. Rev. Cecil Grant, Miss It. Vine, Lt.-Col. F. A. Goddard, and Dr. Marion C. Alexander.

THE WINNING LIMERICK.

THE VIRTUES or TAR (page Ii). Not many, I venture, there are Who can in the course of a par Hint ever so darkly

That good Bishop Berkeley Based all his belief upon tar !

Commended :

SKI-LNG IN SCOTLAND.

A winter this year in the High- Lands of Scotland we're going to try ; If it snows we shall shee- No, I mean we shall skee- If it thaws, then we're going to Skye.

JOCELYN C. I. :A,

SMOKING (page 23).

A history, this, but of no king ; For its author 'mong records went poking To trace the begirming Of that form of sinning That's called " the bad habit of smoking •' !

ARISTOPHANES AND Oximas (page 24).

That writer of plays, Aristophanes- (Eng. pm i.) At the faith of the people would scoff and tease. But they took it for Jest And, quite unimpressed, Would never be ridiculed off the knees.

. Vise.

CORRESPONDENCE (pages 16 and 17).

agree with those three letters written On improvement of hotels in Britain Under various heads,

Especially beds :

For twice shy am I travelling, once bitten !

F. A. GODDARD, Lt.-COL UNNECESSARY JURIES (page 2).

In Surrey, the Legal profession Propose a financial concession. Grand Juries, they say, Are not needed to-day.

" True Bill " is a useless expression.

(Dr.) Maxims C. ALEXANDER.

THE LAST SONG (page 11). Rabindranath (" Non-Stop') Tager°

Bombards you with poems galore : We trust he's not wrong With his title " Last Song.," For years we have thought him a bore.