23 NOVEMBER 1991, Page 59

High life

On the right side


Greece's most decorated soldiers. A per- sonal friend of Mussolini's — believe it or not, he wrote a fan letter to the Duce, and was in return invited to spend a month with Benito in Palazzo Torlonia — he fought with the Condor Legion in Spain. He was 16 at the time. Four years later he saw combat against his old comrades, this time fighting for the motherland. He was my favourite uncle and I remember him well. He spoke well of the Duce despite the Ital- ian's treachery against us, and if I'm still a fascist it is because of my uncle's stories about the old dago.

According to my uncle the Germans were the best soldiers by a long shot and, ironically, he thought very little of the Americans as fighters. His proof was the Lincoln Brigade, those sandal-wearing poofs, as Orwell called them. 'They made a lot of noise and spoke of dying for the cause, but broke and ran for it as soon as the shooting started,' said uncle.

Last year, at an elegant dinner party in New York, my friend Roffredo Gaetani and I happened to mention how his father and my uncle had fought together in Spain over 50 years ago. An incredibly pompous and boring socialite got up and asked to shake the hand of those 'whose families had given blood in Spain'. 'Now hang on, buddy,' said Roffredo, 'whose side do you think our people fought with?' The Republicans, of course,' said the jerk. That is when I started to laugh rather loudly, and in no time at all the dinner had broken up.

I bring Spain up because of what's hap- pening in Croatia. Where is the Condor Legion now? The Germans and the Japanese have turned from warriors into merchants, as disgusting a transformation as I can think of. The Italians were never any good out of bed, so I'll give them a pass. The English, without Mrs Thatcher, are what Napoleon called them, and the French are as always brave but badly led. We Greeks are no good since the great crook Andreas Papandreou convinced the descendants of Leonidas that living with dishonour is far better than dying hon- ourably.

So who is left to come to the aid of the Croats? After 40 years of socialism the Dutch are worse than women, while the Belgians think only of food. The Por- tuguese are the only people I have any respect for, as far as soldiering is con- cerned, because they did kick the hell out of those black bastards down in Angola and lost only through betrayal back home. Without Franco the Spaniards are no good either.

So, while Croatia burns, we in the West are thinking of such weighty matters as women's rights and political correctness. It is enough to make me puke, but it shouldn't surprise me. Ever since the Spar- tans stopped throwing the weak down Mount Taygettos things have been going from bad to worse.