Ancient & modern
The Tory MP for Henley, accused of belittling Liverpudlians by claiming that their outpouring of grief for Ken Bigley (brutally murdered by terrorists) was nothing but mawkish hysteria, has been ordered by High Command to go and appease them. Aristotle had views on such matters.
The MP's crime was, in Aristotle's words, 'speaking ill of things about which people are especially serious', i.e., Liverpudlians' sense of their own legendary compassion. But does that explain the severity of their reaction? It may do, but Aristotle goes on to say that people so treated will be all the more angry 'if they suspect they do not really have these feelings at all, or only insecurely, or are not thought to have them'. Aristotle's point is that, if Liverpudlians felt entirely comfortable in their superiority in the matters about which they were belittled, they would not become angry in the first place. The fact that they do become angry merely demonstrates their insecurity. One feels, however, it would be wise of the MP not to labour this point.
Aristotle dismisses one line of defence at once: that the MP was only being ironic. Aristotle points out that those who are ironic on matters about which people feel seriously are treating them with contempt, and therefore belittling them. No Greek would stand for that. First, therefore, the MP must confess and repent because 'they will have their retribution in the pain felt by the offender for his deeds', and retribution is required. Second, he must show humility and agree that he is inferior to them, because 'anger ceases before the humble; even dogs show this by not biting those who are sitting down' (Tip of the Week). Third, he must take them seriously, because 'those who take people seriously are not thought to be despising them'. Fourth, men calm down when 'laughing, feasting, or having fun'. Finally, the MP could just play for time, which, as Aristotle puts it, 'stills anger'.
All sound advice. On the other hand, the people of Liverpool could show megalopsukhia, 'greatness of soul', and act like Aristotle's megalopsukhos 'who does not bear a grudge, for it does not mark greatness of soul to recall things against people, especially the wrongs they have done you, but rather to overlook them.' That, surely, is the compassionate Liverpool way. Pal.
and so on. But I'm not sure that this isn't shaping up to be Big Lie number three, because as the supermarkets have branched out into home furnishings, white goods, books. DVDs and so on, the space needed to accommodate all these consumer durables has meant that a trip to the local Waitrose or Tesco these days takes longer to complete than a walk down the high street. Further, the choice within those particular areas is minuscule compared with that offered by the specialist shops. If you want a cheap frying pan and a DVD of Kill Bill II, then Tesco will do you fine. But if you want a cast-iron skillet and
the new Matt Thorne novel, then you'll he out of luck.
One more thing; loyalty cards. I don't know what you think of loyalty cards, but they make my flesh crawl. In Boots recently I was asked by the check-out babe a) if I had a loyalty card ('No, of course not. Why would I want to give you my loyalty?') and then b) if I wanted free tickets to the cinema to see Kill Bill II. What's going on here? It's meant to be a bloody chemist! Why are they trying to get me to go the cinema? I want a packet of Anusol and some floss, that's all.
Anyway, the supermarkets are into loyalty cards in a big way. Primarily, they use them to follow your shopping patterns. But they use them for other stuff too, Not so long ago a woman called Lynn Pierce was shopping in Tesco for flowers for her mother's funeral. Sweating a little in the overheated store, she removed the scarf from around her neck and put it in her bag.
A week later the Old Bill turned up at her house to accuse her of shoplifting: the store's CCTV had caught her putting her scarf in her bag and through the woman's loyalty card they'd tracked her to her home. She had to convince them that the scarf was her own. Now, there's loyalty for you, Tesco.
For more information on supermarkets and loyalty cards, visit the website of the Ecologist at winv,theecologist. org. Hell, it'll open your eyes.
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