YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. My wife and I married a month ago in a quiet ceremony which was followed by a small reception for immediate family only. Now we are planning a dance to take place at our fairly large country house, which, for many years during my bachelorhood was something of a Liberty Hall. How can I stop the event from becoming a free-for-all with all our local friends ringing up and asking if it would be all right if they brought along X, Y and Z who are staying with them?
F. W., Crediton, Devon A. Even if your dance will be fairly informal in atmosphere, it would be best to stipulate a 'black tie' dress code on the invitation. This will be sufficient to deter local house- guests from trying to insinuate themselves on the evening in question.
Q. I am supposed to be giving a dinner for 12 people next week and I simply cannot face going ahead with it. What reasonable excuse can I give for cancelling? None of the guests is a close friend and I have realised that together they will constitute a fairly disagreeable human cocktail.
A.H.G., London SWI
Dear Mary.. .
A. Why not scan the obituary columns for a suitable name of someone distinguished yet socially dim? Then telephone the 12 people you have invited and give as your excuse for cancellation, 'I don't know if I told you I was giving the dinner for Sybil, Lady Cum- merbund, but as you've probably read she's sadly died.'
Q. A couple who live in our small commu- nity are well known for their egotistical behaviour. We are moderately friendly with them since our children go to school together. She runs a small design company and he a television film company. He is always on the look-out for new material, and my husband has provided him with valuable introductions which have proved both useful and lucrative. Unfortunately, we have become irritated by recent self- centred gushings at dinner parties which have described these projects and the talent of their producer but which have made no acknowledgement to my husband and the part that he played. What can we do to restore balance to this rela- tionship?
Li, Suffolk A. Ask the couple to dinner at the same time as a 'plant' in the form of a close friend of your own. Your friend should be easily able to 'lead' the conversation to a satisfactory denouement by enquiring of the film man after he has bragged of his pro- jects, 'How wonderful, but how did you make such a valuable contact in the first place,' continuing the interrogation until he has admitted your husband's role in his advancement.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Mary Killen, do The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, Lon- don WC1N 2LL.
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