Spiders in baths
Sir: I am intrigued by your correspondent's difficulties in regard to the presence of spiders in his bath. I thought that by now the answer was clear and well known, and I feel in danger of being thought solemn when I pro- vide it, when for all I know it has never been more than a fun argu- ment, in which the participants advance theories which are patently unsound. So forgive me if I am missing an ancient joke to which for some reason I have never become a party. Spiders wander about all over the place at night, on their lawful occasions. They get into the bath because they are not smart enough to realise the consequences of so doing—even supposing they can see their way. The sides of the bath being steep and shiny, they cannot climb out. Ergo, they are still there in the morning instead of safely back in their holes, webs, or whatever.
The plughole theory clearly won't do. No standard spider could penetrate the water in the U-bend. (I thought until today that my wife was the last person left alive who adhered to this fallacy.) As to the ceiling theory, no rational spider, once on the ceiling, would drop off and choose the bath into which to drop.
I. suppose your correspondent must remain in some genuine doubt—which I am glad now to remove—otherwise he would hardly have wasted your space in discuss- ing the matter.
Godfrey Carter Old Bournstream House, Wotton- under-Edge, Gloucestershire
Sir: Out in Bermuda where I spent much of my .youth the ordinary house spider is frequently as big as the rim of a saucer. So big that you can see his, I mean her, ruby eyes, and hear the sounds she makes — 'b-b-b-b-bub-b-b', just exactly the sound of water going slowly down a pipe. We can't catch the sounds made by tiny English spiders—but no doubt they can hear the sound of water run- ning out.
(I also know why she eats her husband—not just plain murder or cannibalism—but that is another story.) Marjorie S. B. Green Rose Cottage, Winchelsea, Sussex
Sir: Commenting on the Daily Mirror spider controversy in your 3 October issue the Spectator asked why spiders always drop into baths and basins. But they don't,, always. Spiders fall every- where. Only they can't crawl up the slippery slopes. When next he finds a spider in the bath Spectator should prod it gently towards the plughole. Years ago at school when I was barred from cricket because of some mis- demeanour I spent a splendid afternoon racing two spiders against each other in one of the dormitory baths. The plughole was the winning post. It was fas- cinating to observe, I remember, that as each entrant reached the hole he would roll himself into a tight ball and I had to be pretty quick to stop them rolling down and away and putting an end to my fun.
If Spectator pushes his spider down the plughole and then rushes downstairs to the drain he will be able to watch it unrolling and striding jauntily away. Joseph Dray Cranford, 22 Lancaster Gardens, Southend-on-Sea, Essex Sir: 'Weaving spiders come not here; Hence, you long-legg'd spinners, hence!' In the Southern hemisphere There is altered spinning sense. Here in England it's no sin For them all clockwise to spin. But, as water gurgling down Causes one sometimes to frown, Spiders in the Antipodes Spin the other way with ease. Hugh Sykes Conock Manor, Devizes, Wiltshire
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