Buy martinis now
THE QUEUE outside the New York Stock Exchange has shrunk. In the market's palmy days it would stretch round the cor- ner into Wall Street and sometimes got as far as Broadway. These were people stand- ing in line to watch themselves getting rich- er. They would have made a useful indica- tor for my Bad Investment Guide (which .a bleep on the cable from Washington, two weeks ago, turned into a Bad Advertise- ment Guide). New Yorkers all now corn- plain that their investments have turned bad, except those who say smugly, and per- haps truthfully, that they have been in Swiss franc bonds since May. Investors are not, on average, any worse off than they were a year ago, but the great swing from greed to fear is almost palpable. Bankers tremble for their jobs, despair of their bonuses and leave their expensive apartments on their landlords' hands. Credit, so plentiful not long ago, now threatens to dry up. It is enough to make you cry into your martini — which, thanks to the dollar's decline, is now cheaper. Always look on the bright side.
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