24 OCTOBER 1998, Page 79

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

Q. A member of the same department for nearly 25 years, I have repeatedly been turned down for promotion whilst younger colleagues have received theirs. At last I have been awarded what is in effect a dou- ble promotion, which will place me 'ahead' Of them. Over a month has now elapsed since I was informed, but these colleagues have not been forthcoming with the custom- ary congratulations. As there has been no formal announcement, they may simply be unaware, but such news usually circulates quickly and I am beginning to think they are being grudgingly withholding. Mary, how do YOU suggest I deal with what is becoming an increasingly awkward situation?

Dr D., Northants A. Arrange for a friend of yours, mas- querading as a member of the public, to telephone the office saying only, 'Extension number so and so, please.' On being put through to one of the suspect colleagues, Whose number you will have supplied her With, she should say, `Oooh, these switch- boards! I'm not sure who I've been put through to, but perhaps you can help me. I01 writing a letter to Dr D. and I don't Want to get his title or job description Wrong on the envelope. Would you give me ,Lile full details please?' Should the answer °e unsatisfactory, you can disable your Pager at a prearranged time. The same friend can then ring in and insist that you

Dear Mary. . .

be summoned via Tannoy with full title being bellowed out throughout the build- ing. Continue with this method until you achieve the results you require.

Q. I regularly visit my sister and her husband in Gloucestershire. I always have a thor- oughly relaxing time and hardly feel a guest at all. However, as the years go by, I do have one niggling dilemma. Each time, as I am about to depart, my sister presents me with the visitors' book to sign and I am rapidly running out of meaningful, witty or gracious comments. On recent occasions I have left the message section blank, which seems unappreciative or indifferent. However, when I do muster my creative talents, my attempts at witticisms fall flat and haunt me every time I look at them on successive visits. How can I sensitively suggest that my signing days in that particular visitors' book are over? Alternatively, can you provide me with a supply of fresh, witty, appreciative corn- ments to get me through the next few years?

A. C., address withheld A. Next time you stay draw a little picture of a star and write 'treatment' next to it. The following time draw two stars, ditto; the next, three stars, ditto; and so on. If your sister has no sense of humour she may well derive pleasure from your serial emissions and con- sider them a great joke — or they may well annoy her into suggesting that the time has come for you to lay down your pen and con- sider yourself truly a member of the family.

Q. I would be grateful for your help with an annual problem. Having served in the army, I have several medals from HMG. I also have several from other countries' gov- ernments. Consequently on Remembrance Sunday I am totally confused. Should I wear these 'other' medals and, if so, where- abouts in relation to the British ones?

G.M., Cardiff A. Since the war you have been allowed to wear only those awards issued by HMG, by Oman, with whom we have a special arrangement, and by countries whose head of state happens to be in England at the time of the ceremony. My senior military adviser regrets he can only assist me per- sonally with queries. You, however, can probe further, if you need to, by ringing the Medal office at the MoD.