Surfeit of oysters
Sir: I had a mind to read a work of fiction en- titled Portnoy's Complaint but crossed it off my modest little order for my bookseller after reading the battery of ecstatic reviews replete with uncensored quotations and describing it as a great comic literary masterpiece and epoch- making work of art. Just in case anyone could be interested in my own resulting personal re- vulsion I give my reasons for depriving myself of so much pleasure and of such a torrent of fun. First, though it is today ever so smart to decry reticence and have no inhibitions I remain obstinately of the Opinion that reticence is a great human virtue and if it comes to a choice prefer even the old guilt and fear attitudes and atmosphere to a climate that is entirely reticence- free. Secondly, I do not find seminal emission amusing.
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