IRISH CHARACTERISTICS.
WITHOUT localising the Babied of Irish wit to a particular county, as was done in a former article, we wish to discuss it somewhat more fully before taking leave of the sub-
ject. Car-drivers and beggars have been already noticed as typical specimens of witty Irishmen, whose contact with society has no doubt polished and sharpened their naturally fine sense of humour ; and a few more instances of their ready wit may here be noticed. A certain Dublin jarvey was driving a very stout citizen, whose trade was that of a furrier, and when he set him down, his fare offered him only sixpence. "Is that all ye're giving me ?" said the jarvey. "Yes," said the furrier ; "that's your legal fare, my man, and it's all you'll get from me; so take it and go." The jarvey, seeing it was hopeless to expect any- thing more, was determined to have it out of him somehow, so, concentrating all the scorn and contempt he could into his voice and facial expression, he said, " Ah ! go lang out o' that, ye ould boa constructor." The application of such an epithet (with its twofold allusion) to a furrier, it need hardly be said was exceedingly original and appropriate. Some years ago, a celebrated Irish greyhound, named Master Magrath,' won many matches ; but dying of some rather mysterious malady, a post-mortem examination of his remains was made by a medical Fellow of Trinity College, Dublin. This gentleman returned to the Metropolis with a portion of the deceased ' Master ' in a box ; and on his way across the city he informed the jarvey, who was conveying him, of the precious nature of his cargo. The ' Master's ' reputation was well known, and the jarvey reverently ejaculated, "Well, glory be to God I can say I druv the hearse at Magrath's ' funeral, anyway !" Dublin people ought to be the wittiest in Ireland, as they are residents in the largest "social mill" in the country. And some of them certainly are extremely ready-witted. A son of the late Isaac Butt was one day passing along through the streets, and just before him was an oyster-man who was vigorously calling his "fresh oysters." Butt, junior, who was a good mimic, began to call out in the same tone of voice, " Stale oysters—stale oysters." The fish-vendor was naturally very indignant, and turning round upon Mr. Butt, he exclaimed in great anger, " Ah ! it's you that would stale them if you could." Irish wit seems an equally ready weapon, whether it be required for the purpose of complimentary flattery or ironical abuse. The attitude of the Irish people towards the clergy—whether Roman or Anglican— is, on the whole, extremely friendly and respectful. The Roman clergy are affectionately addressed as" Father ;" and the title, "Your Reverence," which is almost, if not altogether, unknown conversationally in England, is very generally applied to the Anglican clergy in Ireland by the lower classes,—some of them make it also quite a point to place and emphasise the word your before it—sic: "Well, as I was telling your Reverence," .S.7,c. Irish people being all so eloquent themselves, naturally admire this quality in a preacher, and the late Father Burke, 0.P., was greatly sought after because of his copia fandi. Many very amusing instances of his wit have been published, but none are quoted here, as we are only gleaning in quiet corners. The writer was told some time ago by a friend, who found a woman apparently in great sorrow, that it all arose from the departure of her parish priest. "
Sir !" said she; "lave me alone, lave me alone about him, for he was the grand man for painting hell to the strong farmer." With all due respect, we would suggest that some strong scene-painting of a future recompense is very necessary at the present time, when so many " strong " farmers seem not at all inclined to observe the very A B C of morality, as regards the payment of just debts. The Protestant Bishop of Derry, who is such an eloquent preacher, observed lately in one of his charges, that to place a young clergyman in some of the small parishes of his diocese was, unless he was very happily constituted, to ensure either his "petrifaction or his putrefaction." I propos of this, it is said that a certain Irish Roman Catholic prelate, going to a P.P.'s house and finding the owner absent, looked about for the book case. He discovered it in due time, but it was filled more with empty bottles than volumes of theology. "I suppose," said his Lordship to the housekeeper," this is his little library."
There can be no doubt that the Irish brogue adds a decided flavour to Irish wit. Irish voices are, as a rule, soft and musical ; and the farther South you go in the island, the inure the brogue improves in quality. Archbishop Croke told a very amusing story lately of a very sudden acquisition of an English accent by an Irish traveller. This man went from Dublin to Holyhead, but was so sea-sick, that on the arrival of the steamer he was unahle to land. Remaining in the same prostrate condition, he returned to Dublin, where he disembarked ; but, strange to say, though his foot never touched English soil, he had meanwhile acquired a decided English accent ! Such grafts, however, as a rule must be very unsuccessful and undesirable. Sir Michael Morris says no one, whether drank or sober, ever mistook him for any- thing but an Irishman ; and in the interests of Irish wit, we hope the Irish brogue will never decay. Eliminate the brogue, and you eliminate half the fun of Irish conversation.
The love of long words among the lower classes is very remarkable, e.g., the word "Gladiator," with a strong stress on the penultimate syllable and a broad pronunciation of the "a," is a favourite. "What a gladiator he is !" The use of this term is rather indefinite, but it seems applied to people who are taking airs. A certain person in a neighbourhood was spoken of as the "Grecian ;" though why or wherefore it was very hard to understand, as he was totally destitute of any Greek culture. "Grand," " illigant," and " intirely " are all very favourite expletives. An Irish hen-wife lately, on seeing an incubator for the first time, observed that 'it would be a grate aise to the bins intirely." The same person, when informed that a sad report of the death of a young man of her acquaintance was quite untrue, thankfully observed, "Oh, glory be to God ! now look at that for a lie !" The word " hither " is very frequently used by the Irish lower classes, though its use would now seem pedantic by well-educated persons ; and the phrase " over and hither "is their equivalent for "here and there." The expression, "That's the price of him," is made use of when any ill-doer comes to grief. The word "shining "is used in the peculiar sense of shamming,—thus, "I was afeard yer honour might think I was shining." "To rise out of" anything is to give it up, and this expression has very curious applications,- e.g., a man is said, on giving up a farm or a job, to have " riz out of it ;" an unfaithful lover to have " riz out of" his sweetheart. "Under," pronounced " andther," is a very favourite term. The horse is put " andther the car ; " and a person taking a walk is said to have gone out " andther the air." The word " stretching " is the technical term for the adulteration of whisky, the national beverage,—how very ex- pressive! Concerning the ruin of any victim of intemperance, you are often told, "It's the quality of the drink that's de- sthroying him intirely." The writer knew of a case where the sot used to lie in bed for a week or more during a debauch, and was told it was the bad whisky of the place was killing him,— the quality, not the quantity ! Legal proceedings have a great interest for the Irish, and a Petty Sessions court-house is always thronged with a mob of idlers on court day. A celebrated character, named Alick O'S—, used always to frequent the court-houses in the North-East end of Cork County, where his familiar figure, surmounted by a hat of the "Ally Sloper "type, was as well known as that of Peter Peebles in Edinburgh. Alick had picked up a certain amount of legal phraseology, which he was very fond of airing, and he laboured under the delusion that he was heir-at-law to every one, gentle and simple, who died in the neighbourhood. Dr. Johnson, when, as trustee, he disposed of Thrale's brewery, said he was selling "the potentiality of becoming rich beyond the dreams of avarice." But Alick's monomania far surpassed even these dreams, for he spoke of the millions, billions, and trillions he possessed as trifles light as air. Strange to say, the fact that he never realised any of his supposed wealth never shook his faith in its existence. And he attended every funeral in the neighbourhood, partly from the Irish love of doing so, and partly from gratitude to the deceased, who he believed had constituted him the heir. While the Duke of Connaught was stationed in Ireland with his regiment, he entertained Alick for several days at the barracks, being doubt- less amused with his oddities. This mark of Royal favour made Alick a loyal man for the rest of his days ; he never omitted, when speaking of her Majesty, to append her title of Empress of India. Oddities of this class are becoming more and more rare, and only linger in neighbourhoods remote from railways and other resources of civilisation. It is to be feared they will soon become quite extinct :— "The individual withers, and the world is more and more."
A few more odds and ends before the conclusion of this article. A friend in the County Meath has communicated the following : —A peasant in that county, going by train to some races, was accosted by his priest, who asked him his destination. On being told it he said, "You are going to hell in that case." "Well, if I am, your Reverence," said Tim, suiting the action to the word, "I have got a return-ticket, and here it is !" Roman priests, as a rule, do not take such a severe view of
sports as this. A beggar having called at this friend's house in the County Meath to ask for alms, was received at the hall door by the butler, who directed him to go round to the kitchen ; whereupon he made the following extraordinary observation.— " Yer sindin' me from Herod to Pontius Pilate !" A sharp child in a Sunday-school class being asked what the Bible taught about the degradation of a great heathen King, replied, —" He that exalteth himself shall be a baste [abased]."
In connection with the foregoing observations upon Irish character, it is worth noticing that although an Irishman is so quick and witty in his replies, he touches his hat much more slowly and deliberately than an Englishman. The latter gives a quick, upward, sudden jerk of his finger, and some- times repeats it ; but an Irishman raises his finger quite slowly, and touching his hat deliberately, withdraws his finger slowly again. His salutation is much less business- like than the English one, but it conveys the idea of much greater respect and ceremony. Locke's observations on wit are not at all inapplicable to the Irish forms of it, and with them we conclude the paper :—" And hence, perhaps, may be given some reason of that common observation, that men who have a great deal of wit and prompt memories have not always the clearest judgment or deepest reason ; for wit lying most in the assemblage of ideas, and putting those together with quickness and variety wherein can be found any resemblance or congruity there- by to make up pleasant pictures and agreeable visions in the fancy; judgment, on the contrary, lies quite on the other side, in separating carefully one from another ideas wherein can be found the least difference, thereby to avoid being misled by similitude to take one thing for another. This is a way of proceeding quite contrary to metaphor and allusion, wherein for the most part lies that entertainment and pleasantry of wit which strikes so lively on the fancy, and therefore is so acceptable to all people, because its beauty appears at first sight, and there is required no labour of thought to examine what truth or reason there is in it. The mind, without looking any further, rests satisfied with the agreeableness of the picture and the gaiety of the fancy ; and it is a kind of affront to go about to examine it by the severe rules of truth and good reason, whereby it appears that it consists in something that is not perfectly conformable to them."
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