Union blues
Taki
To Oxford for a Union debate: This house believes that Hurricane Katrina blew away the myth of US racial equality. Naturally, I was against the motion, but, students being students, my side lost. Mind you, I admit that I let the side down. I was unprepared, spoke haltingly and antagonised the audience by announcing my betrothal to the Union president, the beautiful Sapana Agrawal, then changing my mind and proclaiming that I would marry the beautiful Natasha, a very pretty girl sitting just behind the front benches. Actually, I felt badly for my team, especially Gerard Baker, US editor of the Murdoch Times, who had done their homework and had come up with sound arguments which only a fool would deny.
Let’s take it from the top. Louisiana had received more money over the past five years for the Army Corps of Engineers projects than any other state in the union. Most of it, if not all of it, disappeared. According to a careful New York Times examination of actual storm victims, those who stayed behind either owned cars or were offered rides by others but chose to remain. Proportionally, more whites died than blacks: whites make up only 28 per cent of the population of New Orleans, but accounted for 36 per cent of the deaths; conversely, blacks account for 68 per cent of the population, but only 59 per cent of the deaths.
The opposition, needless to say, went to town on me. One Fellow of All Souls mentioned the fact that I had inherited wealth three times, and somehow dragged the exsainted editor Boris into his destruction of my character. I suppose an inheritance disqualified one from having an opinion about race, especially as I mentioned that New Orleans is run by black politicians who are as concerned about the welfare of their constituents as, say, their Nigerian or Congolese confrères. When Henry Louis Gates, a black academic, wrote, ‘If our people studied calculus like we studied basketball, we’d be running MIT,’ he was called an Uncle Tom.
What the poor little Greek boy does not understand is why it is so difficult to say anything in public about race or religion without being pilloried for blaming the victim. After Katrina, some black American leaders discredited themselves by playing the race card. It was a class card they should have been playing, but never mind. They tell us America is a classless society, but a racist one. Too many young blacks, in America, as well as in Europe, believe that being black is about music, sex, guns and drugs. The sensation-seeking media focus on racism because it sells, and there you have it. Our opponents in the debate, too, did a hell of a job painting an America which I suppose existed before 1865, and received lots of applause as a result.
Well, at least I had a good time afterwards, drinking late into the night at the Union with some charming young women, before being driven back to London for some badly needed sleep. Oh, yes, I almost forgot. While I was speaking, I made the mistake of recognising a bearded man (at least, I think he was bearded) who, in an American accent, asked me whether I was drunk. He got a big laugh, but all he proved was that American rudeness is now acceptable in a once civilised Europe. If memory serves, he was an ugly man, and the next day I read somewhere that the uglier you are the more likely it is that you will end up a criminal. I’ve been saying this for years, but now it’s official. According to two American professors, ‘The longterm consequences of being young and ugly are small but consistent,’ i.e., the ugly are less likely to secure good jobs and therefore might be more susceptible to getting involved in crime. It’s a theory like any other; actually, it’s bullshit, but the man who rudely interrupted me should be monitored by the fuzz 24 hours a day.
Otherwise, everything is hunky-dory. I missed a great lunch at Brooks’s, was the first man to be eliminated in the weekly poker game at Aspinall’s, and had a great laugh while reading that Uncle Sam and Israel are planning to starve democratically elected Hamas out of office. One might ask to what end? Here’s a chance to work with a group of people who reflect Palestinian will, but Israeli hardliners and American neocons will not permit it.
America and Israel should work with Hamas, offering rewards rather than threats and boycotts. Any agreement with Hamas is worth a lot more than an agreement with people who can’t deliver. Anyway, it was a fair election, one George W. Bush insisted on. But no one listens to the wise words of the poor little Greek boy. On the contrary, they attack his inheritance, accuse him of being a drunk, and refuse to go back to London with him after a spirited debate. I’m going for an Achilles-like sulk in my chalet-tent.
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