MODERN CINCINNATI. MODERN CINCINNATI.
"WHAT has become of the Queen's Champion ? " The question is resolved by an account of a ploughing-match in Lanarkshire, which lately appeared in a provincial paper—" Considerable interest was excited on the occasion by the circumstance of the rival ploughmen being two Members of Parliament; Captain Dalrymple, M.P. for Wig- tonshire, and Mr. Edward Horsman, M.P. for Cockermouth. Both went to work like old hands, and produced capital furrows." The Member for Cockermouth has beat his pistol into a ploughshare. No more shall be heard at the hustings, " Three cheers for Mr. Horsman and the Queen ! " but in return, " The portion of land so ploughed was named, among deafening cheers, the Member's Acre." One honest farmer remarked, "it was a pity twa first-rate plough- men should ha'e been made middling members o' Parliament." But a sentimental young lady was overheard delicately murmuring-
" Some, with whom compared, your insect tribes
Are but the beings of a summer's day, Have held the scale of empire ; ruled the storm Of mighty war ; then, with unwearied hand, Disdaining little delicacies, seized The plough, and greatly independent lived."
Possibly the two Honourable Members, " who have whistled at the plough," have become converts to the doctrine that "the man who makes two blades of grass grow where one grew before is worth all the statesmen and heroes who ever lived." Or perhaps they enter- tain much the same opinion of the Honourable House to which they belong as the Queen Square Magistrate, before whom a crazy woman was brought for addressing Mr. HUME in the Lobby the night before.
Mr. Bond—" Will you promise me that you will not repeat your visit to the House?"
Defendant (hesitatingly)—" Yes."
Mr. Bond—" If you keep your word, it will induce me to believe that you are not insane."
A good many tests of insanity have lately been suggested, but this is the cleverest we have heard of: "no sane person will go to the House of Commons unless compelled to go."
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