25 MARCH 1978, Page 17

Down mammary lane

Sir: Jeffrey Bernard's reference to 'torpedo-shaped tits' of the 'fifties brought back very happy memories. As an enthusiastic exponent of this now dated female weaponry, I resent his knockerknocking (4 March). The "seventies' saggies and droopers, flapping their liberated way through supermarkets and television chat-shows alike, are depressing in every sense of the word.

It's surprising that Richard Ingrams failed to comment on Edna O'Brien's pendulous profile as she strolled across the sands of Abu Dhabi. Perhaps she should have worn a djellabah. Certainly no,sheep's eyeball was cast in her direction.

When Mr Bernard next entrains for Cheltenham I will try and arrange to have my antique mammarian splendours silhouetted against the Cotswold hills. That should help to compensate for any disappointments at the races.

Patricia Kaye 3 Calcot, Fossebridge, Northleach, Glos.