SKINFLINT'S CITY DIARY
Mammoth firms tend to go on and on about the economies of scale. This is not surprising because they have few, if any, other justifications. But often those much-vaunted economies of scale are illusory; as witness the British Steel Corporation which must be one of the largest and least efficient businesses in the world. Lord Melchett, who is evidently unsackable as BSC chairman, is fond of foreign travel. A year or two ago his close friend and deputy chairman, Mark Littman, Q.C., plus a team of lesser colleagues, visited the Far East together. The itinerary included Japan, Australia and Honolulu. They survived Japan, enjoyed Honolulu, and found Australian hospitality wonderful, but did not visit the two men who might have made their journey more worth while — the iron ore prospectors Lang Hancock and Peter Wright. Considering that the BSC desperately needs to lay its hands on supplies of good quality imported ore, this was a little surprising because the legendary discoveries of Hancock and Wright, which have included the huge Hammersley ore field, have transformed the economy of Western Australia and have enriched, not only the prospectors themselves, but their shrewd associates, who now include foreign organizations like Texas Gulf Sulphur. But Hancock and Wright have one notable disadvantage — they have recently been ostracized by the Australian mining establishment, which includes RTZ and is strongly supported by the Western Australian government. Defying the ' club ' by doing deals with Hancock and Wright (as Texas Gulf Sulphur did) requires a bit more nerve than the BSC seems likely to acquire. The fact that the BSC deputy chairman, Mark Littman, is a director of RTZ has, of course, nothing to do with the BSC's attitude to ore buying.
Advertising films
Mr Brian Young and the Independent Television Authority are easy prey to the tobacco companies and their foxy advertising agents. We all know that advertising cigarettes is no longer allowed on television but for some reason cigars and pipe tobacco are allowed as being supposedly less harmful to health.
The tobacco companies are now advertising ranges of cigars with the same brand names and similar packaging to their established large selling cigarette brands. Heavy emphasis is put into the script and on the screen on the
words " Players " "Embassy," "Benson and Hedges" and so on. One of the most recent advertising films is a well made spoof on The Spy Who Came in from the Cold idea. There is a dramatic East-West exchange of agents on a midEuropeaa-looking bridge. The agent, from the East presumably, is dashed to headquarters gripping a dispatch case, upstairs, down corridors, past guards and at last to his chief, with whom he leaves his bag. Ceremoniously after lifting out Playboy arid a false lid, the bottom of the bag is seen to be filled with what appears to be a pile of Benr.on and Hedges Sovereign cigarette packs but in fact the almost identically packed Benson and Hedges small cigar. The film skates clear of Brian Young's regulations — the colonel or whoever he is pulls out a small cigar with a satisfied smirk. Benson and Hedges' advertising agents, Collett Dickinson and Co, have reason for a chuckle too, at Brian Young's expense.
Mr Young's rule probably does not extend to the TV Times which takes cigarette advertising eagerly. Most advertisments admittedly print a notice " Packets carry a government health warning" with the predictable exception of Benson and Hedges' Gold Bond cigarettes. If cigarette advertisers must invest in advertising the proper place is in The Spectator since I am far from convinced that cigarettes are worse than cigars.
Milk Marketing Board
A cutiepie moppet model dancing on a giant milk bottle is the latest nauseous television dribble from the Milk Marketing Board.
"This little girl is seven — last term she got free milk which helped to make her healthy, fit and strong — but this term is different. Free milk has stopped." A pause like the two minutes silence, but probably of no more than fifteen seconds, and then a jingle, "Order some extra pintas," or some banality.
The plug is of a hard-left political bias, and Mrs Thatcher, the Minister of Education, should give M e Brian Young's Independent Television Authority a sharp slap on the wrist. Sir Keith Joseph, the Minister of Health, might look into it too, for the indications are that for anyone over three excess quantities of milk lead to obesity, acne and premature baldness.
Resale Price Maintenance
A recurring nightmare is to be responsible for a shop, or restaurant, or bank, or any other business which might suffer from the depredations of its staff.
James Walker and Sons, the jewellery chain, has a profitable sideline buying second-hand pieces for resale. Shop managers are responsible for buying, but the piece bought must be sent back to head office for valuation, cleaning and dispatch for resale to another branch. This is to ensure that the seller is not upset by the margin put on the jewellery he has recently sold, and also to make certain that a manager is not tempted to use his own money to take what is offered. Private detectives, posing as customers, visit a shop occasionally, to sell the manager some little thing which head office waits to see come back.
AL Capone, the gangster, once owned a restaurant chain as a legitimate venture and worried that some managers might be skimming some of the take. His answer as a good businessman was to buy a laundry to which all branches had to send their linen. If he was not able to reconcile the number of napkins washed with the meal returns from a restaurant he moved the manager.
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