High life
Stirring
Taki
Chicago my invitation to the Phil Donahue show came about after the editor of the American Spectator, Bob Tyrrell, suggested I write an essay on lousy women lovers. Needless to say, it was supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek piece, a sort of update on Helen Lawrenson's 1936 dissertation, `Latins are Lousy Lovers'. I wrote that American feminists are the lousiest lovers in the world and then sat back and waited. It didn't take long. The hate mail came first, then the invitation to appear and defend my views on the Donahue show. Phil Donahue is the quintessential American TV star. He hosts a daytime show that is seen by an au- dience of about 40 million people, mostly women. The format is simple. He walks around the audience — who, I was told, have usually waited two years for their seats — and chats with them. In my case it was a bit different. I was seated on a stool in the middle and the audience threw ques- tions at me. I was informed of the format five minutes before going on the air. The producer also informed me that Donahue was married to a famous feminist. When I asked who she was people began getting angry. 'You mean you never heard of Mario Thomas? She is Danny Thomas's daughter.' Now I swear to you, dear readers, that I have never heard of either
Ms or Mr Thomas. As I was very nervous and unprepared, I was not about to argue. I let it go at that. What I suspect they are is a father-daughter acrobat or high-wire act. Something like the Flying Vallendas, except in their case Mario is a feminist. But back to Donahue and the show.
In my American Spectator article I had suggested that the women's liberation movement had managed to turn out moral clones of the male chauvinists it despises. My advice to American women was to forget about becoming sensual and sexual through instruction books as women are sensual by nature. I also told them to stop measuring their achievements, to stop being driven, and to stop hating their sex organs. Last but not least I advised them to emulate their European sisters who long ago discovered something vastly superior to the hate rhetoric against men, namely, manipulating them and getting their way in the time-honoured tradition of the ancient Greeks. Despite the tongue-in-cheek nature of the article, I do believe that love between humans is not merely an indulgence in car- nal pleasure. If it were purely a manipulative technique I concede the American feminists would be tops. Like they are in jogging or doing Jane Fonda's exercises. Donahue, however, chose to read the more provocative stuff — most of it out of context. I didn't mind. Television in America would not be what it is if it didn't deal in superficial terms.
Phil, as everyone calls the star, is a nice- looking man with premature grey hair and the kind of professional and contrived earnestness that hawkers in front of strip joints affect. He did encouraged me to de- fend myself however, and ' was very generous in deferring to me. The funny thing was that during the hour-long show a lot of women began to agree with me. That is, they began to agree once I had stated my views in their entirety, and not only the pro- vocative stuff. Donahue didn't seem to mind. What he wanted was controversy and that he got. The producer told me after- wards that the telephone rang more than usual. What struck me the most was the superficiality of American television and the naivete and kindness of the people. After the show I ran into Lana Turner, waiting her turn to sell her book. She is now
a tiny old lady. 'Boy, do I ever agree with what you say about these feminists,' She growled at me when I wished her good luck. Ironically, if there ever was a person who was exploited by men and the system it vas Miss Turner, yet she is too feminine to hate all men. When I left the studio I went straight to the airport and flew to the American ver- sion of Oxfordshire, Bloomington Indiana. home of Indiana University, Americas greatest music school and of the American Spectator. I did one more show there, had a wonderful dinner with all the A3 staff. Space does not permit me to tell all, except that although there are 15,°9 female students at the university, 3,0° them extremely pretty, I still had no regrets after attending the Saturday Night Club's weekly dinner. H.L. Mencken started the tradition and Bob Tyrrell is a worthy stic‘ cessor. And for me to prefer an al/-5131,e dinner when there are thousands of girls loose on campus is a compliment indeed.
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