26 AUGUST 2004, Page 55

Q. After it emerged in my circle in this charming

part of France that I had written some poetry, I was asked if I would conduct a reading for a group of international ladies. As they are obviously desperate for someone to entertain them, I agreed. While I am perfectly happy to burble on all evening about despair, death and so on, the thought occurs that many of these Dutch, Finnish, German, Swedish and French ladies could struggle with the prolonged use of the English tongue in heroic couplets. For how long do you suggest I should recite so as to preclude ennui, fainting or worse?

J.G. Murray, Var, France A. Since exchange of intelligence is rarely the point of an international ladies' reading group, you will find they drift off happily into personal reveries whatever your own performance may consist of They are much more likely to be interested in the tautness of your physique or in your personal grooming, so you might as well be reciting in Greek Do not push the poetry beyond ten minutes, however. Use the rest of the lecture time (maximum 30 more minutes) to tell literary anecdotes which the ladies will find much more enjoyable, whether they understand them or not. At least it will give them the opportunity to participate by laughing at the same time as the English speakers do.