Q. Is it fair to ask friends to pull their
weight and help with washing-up, laying tables etc. during a weekend house party? When my husband and I end up doing all the clearing up as well as everything else, I cannot prevent a little bile rising inside me. I am prompted to write to you because I was so irritated after a recent weekend of this that I don't want to invite one particular couple again. And yet they are old
friends who, in many other respects, are great guests. How can I tell them how I feel without embarrassing us all?
Name and address withheld A. Jolt habitual offenders out of their complacency by telephoning the night before they are expected to announce that your right hand is bandaged up owing to repetitive strain or some other injury. You would still love them to come, but this would only be possible if they were able to help out with anything involving water — such as washing-up and wiping down surfaces — since your husband will be too busy helping you with other work. No doubt they will agree. Wear a bandage to remind yourself not to tackle any washing-up. At the end of the weekend, sigh with delight, This has been one of the most enjoyable weekends ever. Do you know, I had been thinking I'm not going to have people to stay any more, it's too much work. Now that I see what a fantastic difference it makes if the guests help, I'm going to be able totally to resume my social life. It's going to be just a matter of asking people if they would be prepared to help, and then giving them specific things to do.'
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