High life
Winners all
Taki
It was election time last week. The birthplace of democracy held a general election, the International Bachelors Society elected the ten most exciting women in the World, and the Radical Chic Association voted ten female members in its Hall of Fame.
In the Greek parliamentary elections too many industrialists remained on their yachts while their wives and children of voting age cast their ballots in favour of left-wing firebrand Andreas Papandreou and extreme radical Melina Merkouri. Andreas's party came in second and he is now regarded as a sure successor to Karamanlis. Andreas and Melina want Greece out of NATO and the European Community, more aligned to African countries, and, most important, insist on eradicating all American influence in Greece — including nylons and hamburgers, not to mention military bases.
Their extreme left-wing ideology is not contradictory since Andreas's yacht was built in Yugoslavia and Melina's in Jamaica. They are driven in German cars (BMWs) and their houses resemble King Farouk's palaces.
Two days before the Greek vote, the International Herald Tribune reported the election by the International Bachelors Society of the ten most exciting women in the world. The Society, the Tribune reported, is headed by an Indian actor, Kabir Bedii. He is a fakir-like figure, rather popular in India, and got his name by lying on a bed of nails and screaming Teeee.'
The list is headed by Princess Grace of Monaco. She was a natural choice because of her exciting discovery of a way of turning normal red blood into blue. (All one has to do is swallow Reckitt's blue, the kind they use to launder clothes.) Grace fed the stuff to her future son-in-law, Philip Junot, and he turned blue blood overnight. The next on the list was none other than Jackie Kennedy Onassis. She, too, was an obvious choice because of the unpredictable and exciting way she distributes the funds received from Christina Onassis. Jackie specialises in charitable institutions such as Givenchy Refugees Inc, Si Laurent drug rehabilitation, Christian Dior Amnesty, etc. The French nightclub owner Regine was on the list because of the way she excites people with the bills they get in her clubs. In fact Regine has managed to excite some to their graves and others to the poorhouse.
Melina Merkouri was elected in Parliament, and she was on both the Bachelors and Chic lists. It was a week of triumph. She is obviously exciting because of her political beliefs and unexpected tips in the stock market while being interviewed on tele vision on the evils of capitalism. More than just a few hacks have profited from her munificence.
The Bachelors list also included Chrissie Evert, the tennis star, All McGraw, the movie actress, Mireille Mathieu the singer, Lady Antonia Fraser and Empress Farah of Iran. The empress was a shoe-in as adoring mobs of admirers follow her everywhere, especially in the United States, and stage exciting battles with the police while trying to get close enought to genuflect.
The Radical Chic list included two names already mentioned: The omnipresent Greek Melina Merkouri and Jackie 0. Their left-wing credentials are impeccable, and leaving them out would have been a libel on both of them. The rest of the radical but chic ladies are: a) Baroness Gaby Van Zuylen, born in a small American town but married to a man holding large shares of, Royal Dutch. She supports all popular causes while making sure that she does not pollute the atmosphere of our overpopulated cities with her twelve limousines by inhabiting poor towns like Deauville, St Moritz and Palm Beach. b) Suzanna Agnelli, the sister of Fiat's chairman and mayor of the resort town of Porto Ercole in Italy. Ms Agnelli thinks capitalism is a capital offence, that Italian anarchists have a point, and believes her numerous daughters should be brought up in Park Avenue so they will not cause Italian youths to become envious. Two of her daughters married extreme leftists who know a good thing when they see one, making her election to the list de rigueur. c) Lady Falkender was an easy choice because of her country house, London mews home and three live-in Filipino servants. d) Marion Javits, the wife of the senior New York senator, was included after it was revealed that she represented Iran Airways for a £200,000 yearly fee in return for her undercover work on behalf of the Shah. Marion, however, does not forget worthy causes like socialism, black rights, Indian rights, Eskimo rights, Mugabe and Nkomo rights and German prisoners' rights. 0) Lulu de la Falaise. Lulu has a phoney title, likes smoking exotic Eastern tobacco that gives one hallucinations, works for St Laurent and believes Eurocommunism is the greatest discovery since margarine. Her husband also prefers margarine to butter. She believes that if Europe went red, couturiers like St Laurent would be buried in the Kremlin Mausoleum in case they overdosed. f) The list concludes with Mrs Andreas Papandreou, which is an unfortunate choice because she does not deserve the election. She was named purely because of her husband's propensity for good cigars and wines. Mrs Papandreous prefers to stay home with her servants and dogs and thinks socialism is for the birds as it prevents her from flaunting it. In case she divorces her husband she will be struck off. The Hall of Radical Chic Fame is already looking for the next candidate. If any readers have suggestions please write in.
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