YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. I wonder if you can help with a rather intimate domestic problem. My wife and I have joined a scheme whereby American tourists who wish to stay in an 'English heritage home' rather than a hotel, come to our small manor house as paying guests. We recently put up a freshly married cou- ple and expected that, in the normal course of nature, they would wish to spend a lot of time in their bedroom with the curtains drawn. We were pleasantly sur- prised, therefore, when they descended relatively early to breakfast and, having consumed a notable quantity of kedgeree, eggs, bacon and toast, discussed their plans for spending the day in Bath. Since We have no live-in staff this meant we would be able to lock up the house for the day and get on with our lives. They then retired upstairs to their bedroom and did not re-emerge. We noticed from outside that they had redrawn the curtains but, since there was no telephone in their room, it seemed impossible to distract them without causing embarrassment. This resulted in considerable delay and Inconvenience and made it impossible to formulate plans for the day. Can you think of any relatively painless way of extracting guests from their rooms should a similar situation arise in the future?
Name and address withheld.
A. The correct procedure is to stand out- side the door rattling the handle and, speaking in as strong a female local accent as you can muster, enquire, 'Is it all right if I come in now to do the room, sir?'
Q. A.B., London W8 can rest easy: `Albany' and 'the Albany' are both accept- able. Albany has a ducal familiarity which is pleasant, but Oscar Wilde, who knew about these things, always used 'the Albany'. In Act I of The Importance of Being Ernest Algernon says, 'It's on your cards. Here is one of them. "Mr Ernest Worthing, B.4. the Albany". '
D.R., London NW1 A. Thank you for your contribution. Please excuse the misspelling of Peter Coats in the issue of 13 January.
Q. I am a London-based interior decorator but very often my commissions are outside London, which can involve staying with the client overnight. Before leaving I am always uncertain whether or not I should leave a tip as in these circumstances I am, strictly speaking, classified as staff myself. What should I do as I don't want to appear mean?
A. It all depends on whether you dine with your host, which, given your own social rank, I expect you do. In that case it is cor- rect for you to hand over the relevant tips, then claim them back (plus VAT) under `sundries' when you prepare the client's invoice. MW, London SW7.
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