Spontaneous Outburst
By RAY TINGUE HE parade for the Queen's Birthday,'
I screeched the Commander, 'will be attended by the Mayors of Chatham and Gillingham— which will be a thrill for us all [obedient laughter. The Mayors of Chatham and Gillingham are Socialists and therefore funny]—and by the Commander-in-Chief, The Nore'—this last in a defiant voice, forbidding mockery.
'During the parade'—he was speaking slowly and loudly so that the assembled ship's company of the barracks could all hear—`you will be re- quired to give three cheers for Her Majesty. The First Lieutenant will now show you how it has to be done!' The First Lieutenant duly stepped on to the rostrum. `Detail'—his voice was even louder than the Commander's—`for giving three cheers for Her Majesty. On the order "Off Caps" you will lift your cap off your head with your right arm—extending the arm at an' angle of forty-five degrees. The cap will be vertical.' He was going through the appropriate motions with skill and confidence. 'The Commander will say "Hip-hip-hip." You will answer "Hooray," and describe with your cap a left-handed circle two feet in diameter. It is essential to say "HOO-RAY," with the accent on the RAY. On no account must it be "HOO-RAH."
`How we won the war,' said a colleague.
'A spontaneous outburst of loyalty and en- thusiasm,' said another, more articulate.
`We will try it first by companies, and then all together. And remember,' added the First Lieutenant unfortunately, 'a clockwise circle two feet in diameter.' There was a buzz of consterna- tion and somebody tugged at his coat. 'Of course,' he said quickly, 'it will be clockwise to the people who are watching. Anti-clockwise to you.'
Then the practising began, under the supervision
of the drill instructors. We were inside the drill shed, so the din was enormous. 'Hips' and `Hoorays' mingled with 'Two feet, not inches!' 'A left-hand circle!' Hold it vertical!' The shed was a mass of circling caps.
A blast from the First Lieutenant's whistle brought immediate calm. 'Parade,' he barked, `will give three cheers for Her Majesty the Queen, and we did it quite well.
At the first rehearsal it was sunny and very hot, and fainting became the fashion. When the time came for the cheering it was not surprisingly
a rather feeble effort. The cheering was lousy We will repeat the cheering,' said the Corn'
mander, sounding like a translation from the Latin. And then, 'There are too many people falling out. It is nothing to do with the heat, but because you are standing on your heels instead of your toes.' Funny how people stand on their heels more in hot weather.
The second cheer was vigorous, to order. M we dismissed I overheard : 'I hope she appreciates all we suffer for her. `It isn't even her real birthday.'
Everything was perfect for the final dress re' hearsal. The sun shone, the foot and arms drill
was performed with normal naval competence and precision, and those who fainted were re' moved with all possible speed. Came the big moment, and the Commander put on his- most dramatic bellow. 'Parade will give three cheers for Her Majesty the Queen. Hip-hip-hip . . `Hooray.' Not loud, but a disciplined shoat; with the accent firmly on the 'RAY,' No trace of a `RAH,' as round went the caps in their two-WI circles. I dropped mine. On the big day it rained and the parade 05 cancelled.
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