Q. Returning from a trade fair held at a neighbouring
stately home I was reminded of the apophthegm ‘a fool and his money are soon parted’. Before my visit I thought a trade fair was full of dusty men with brawny arms selling exotic tools such as adzes, bradawls and drill braces. This, however, was the County female contingent prepared — as vendors at various bric-ii-brac stalls to embark on a discursive rambling gossip with any customer. These conversations were of such detail and duration that my wife, who is generally reliable in stores and shops, found it impossible to move on without making a purchase (in the same way that return invitations are issued by guests leaving a dinner party). Have you any ideas about how these socially pressing vendors can be defeated by an adroit visitor?
Name and address withheld A. Shopping scientists know that the longer a browser can be detained in a shop, the more difficult she will find it to leave without making a purchase. After 17 minutes it is said to be impossible. The compulsion to buy is even more pronounced when shopping and friendship are conflated. Yet it is still possible to plumb a Sloanefest for its social mileage without buying unwanted goods. You need only arrive clutching a large carrier bag loaded with stiffly bunched-up tissue paper. You can then tour the trade fair with confidence knowing that, if pressure mounts, you can wave your loaded bag and say, ‘I really mustn’t buy anything.’ When the stallholders gaily inquire, ‘Oooh, what have you got there?’ just reply, ‘Don’t ask!’
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