Q. My parents have hosted my cousin’s children at their
country estate for the last two summers at an enormous cost to them — four weeks one summer and five weeks the other. Bizarrely they (my parents) have not had a word of thanks for their generous efforts from my cousin. Not a peep! How do I advocate for my parents and get my selfish cousin to do the right thing and say thank you and not make a muck of my parents lavish intentions and actions?
S.A.C., London A. Find an appropriate present such as a wonderful double-ply cashmere blanket and have it delivered to your parents without an enclosing note. They will assume it is from your cousin and will ring and write to thank him or her. This will put your cousins on the spot. They will have to admit that they did not send the present, but your parents’ assumption that they did should shame them into admitting to themselves that, perhaps, they should not have been so presumptuous. Later you can step forward announcing that the present is from you — you had forgotten about it since you ordered it so long ago.
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