28 APRIL 1984, Page 23

Orifices

Sir: Jem Cook's letter (21 April) raises the possibility of a continuing series of anecdotes on this distasteful subject. As a way of closing the correspondence may I offer the best of all such stories, which occurs at the beginning of John Aubrey's brief life of Edward de Vere, Earl of Oxford:' This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.'

M. J. Hugill 42 Kersfield House, Kersfield Road, London SW15