Mr. Dooley's monologue, " The Japanese Scare," printed in last
week's Evening Standard and St. James's Gazette, is a shrewd as well as entertaining commentary on the responsi- bilities of America as a world-Power :-
"In th' good old days we wudden't have thought life was worth livin' if we cudden't insult a foreigner. That's what they were fr. When I was sthrong, before old age deprived me iv most iv me pathritism an' other infantile disordhers, I never saw. a Swede, a Hun, an Eyetalian, a Boohlgaryan, a German, a Fr-rinchman that I didn't give him th' shouldher. If 'twas an Englishman I give him th' foot too. Threaty rights, says ye ? We give him th' same throaty rights he'd give us, a dhrink and a whack on th' head. It seemed proper to us. If 'twas right to belong to wan naytionality, 'twas wrong to belong to another. If 'twas a man's proud boast to be an American, it was a disgrace to be a German an' a joke to be a Fr-rinchman. An' that goes now. Ye can bump any foreigner ye meet but a Tap. Don't touch him. He's
a live wire Why, be Hivens it won't be long till we'll have to be threatin' th' Chinese dacint."
This state of affairs causes Mr. Dooley to sigh for the good old days "before we became a wurruld Power." "There are no frinds at cards or wurruld pollyticks." The. Japanese, he notes, " is most to be feared because iv his love iv home an' his almost akel love iv death. He is so happy in Japan that he would rather die somewhere else." You must be polite to them just because they are little : "A big man knows he don't have to fight, but whin a man is little an' knows he's little, an' is thinkin' all th' time he's little, an' feels that ivrybody else is thinkin' he's little, look out f r him."
