28 DECEMBER 2002, Page 46

Women trouble


Cherie Blair's lies brought back memories. Of Evita Peron, the bottle-blonde hooker that became Argentina's first 'lady' while her crook husband robbed the country blind in the name of the decamisados. (Of course they were shirtless, their chief had stolen the whole kit and caboodle.) Nowadays, people seem to forget what a terrible, terrible man Peron was, and what a poisonous, envious whore was Evita. All Argentina's troubles can be traced back to Bonnie and Clyde Peron, and the socialist measures they imposed on that once rich and wonderful country. When Eva Peron took her last European tour, it was rumoured that An Onassis had given her one when she stopped over in Monte Carlo. Onassis did like famous names, and bedded lots of them, but never la Peron. How do I know? I asked his closest friend, Kostas Gratsos, two or three years after the golden Greek had died in 1975. 'Not even close,' was the answer. 'He knew her back in Argentina, but he stayed away. She had the habit of putting the bite on one, and in the millions.'

Juan Peron was such a liar and natural demagogue, the idiotic Argies brought him back to power in the mid-Seventies after 20 years in Spanish exile. (Franco should have suicided him, but was too decent a man to do it.) As if that wasn't enough, after the old boy croaked, the Argies actually allowed his second whore wife, Isabellita, to run the place for a while. Alas, Peronism is still around, and that's why Argentina — once among the top three richest nations — is now on a par with Bulgaria.

Not that I'm calling Cherie Blair a whore. Anything but. She couldn't be one even if she wanted to; not good-looking

enough. No, where Cherie reminds me of Eva is in her politics — much, much more to the Left than she's been given credit for, her meddling in policy a In third-world dictatorships, and her ability to play the little wife when it suits her. Most people today have been influenced by Evita, the Lloyd Webber play, which whitewashed the bitch once and for all. Yet, if people refused to read the lefty and Murdoch rags, they would see that Cherie and Evita are one, except for the sex for hire, that is. Both are tough as hell, both are meddlers and very ambitious, both are terrific liars, both took the easy way up, via their hubbies.

Mind you, Hillary Clinton is the same, except, again, for the whore part, although she, too, could not make a living from the world's oldest profession because of ugly looks and terrible ankles. In all fairness la Clinton did win election to the US Senate, but even that was a bit tainted. She had great exposure as the long-suffering wife of the greatest liar ever to inhabit the White House, and her natural constituency is Noo Yawk, a place full of Hispanics, blacks, homosexuals, cross-dressers, and people on welfare. Last but not least, Rudy Giuliani who would have kicked her butt got cancer you know where, so she was home free. Still, she won fair and square, even with people who can hardly speak a word of English voting overwhelmingly for her.

And somebody else comes to mind. Libel laws prohibit me from telling the whole truth, but Mimi Papandreou, not so long ago Greece's first 'lady', is Evita's clone, except for much bigger tits. Andreas Papandreou was the biggest crook among his socialist ministers still in power, most of whom are crooks. On a salary of around £30,000 per annum he left real estate worth many millions, and I'm not counting the millions he paid his American wife Margaret for the divorce.

Mimi now lives in great comfort and luxury, although the socialists in government shun her. For the life of me, I don't understand it. Just because the poor girl shoved her big tits in an old man's face while up in the air — she was an airline stewardess — and he got all hard, divorced his wife, stole the country blind and built her a palace, two palaces, in fact, is no reason to be embarrassed of her. Unlike Greece's ministers, she didn't steal the money, she earned it the old-fashioned way. Big Tits, however, does not remind me of Cherie. Big Tits was ambitious, and the moment she got Ali Babandreou she began firing orders left and right. It was obvious that she was a goner the moment Ali Baba went to hell. Cherie is smarmier and far more intelligent. Cherie and Hillary, Evita and Mimi, two of a kind, and two of a kind; all four, however, liars par excellence who have dragged and will drag their countries into socialist sleaze given half the chance.

Have a very happy New Year, keep reading The Speccie, and don't wish any of these women on your worst enemy.