28 FEBRUARY 1970, Page 12

New Lupercalia

CHRISTOPHER HOLLIS

Excited by the lusts of spring, The Romans used to dance and sing And called it Lupercalia.

Sometimes it was a great success; Sometimes one frankly must confess It proved a total failure.

Seeing the mess the Romans made, Christians called Valentine in aid At ten and six the dozens And sent him off by penny post To gratify the fecund host Of all their females cousins.

The verses begged the holy man To send them all the brats he can To sanctify the marriage.

The modern girl prefers a pill, In spite of Lady Summerskill To saye her a miscarriage, ,