LOw lif e
Fourth channel
Jeffrey Bernard
Prepare now to be disappointed. When the new television channel begins transmissions and makes several businessmen millionaires overnight, you may not get quite the programmes you were hoping for. Several media whizz kids have told me that it's going to be a wow and all because of the enormous amount of talent, vision, genius and artistic sensibility owned by a few in this country and simply screaming to be let loose on a deserving public. There will be a little something for everybody, from the humblest of Coronation Street addicts to those who prefer their quartets to be late. Some of it might just ring a bell. 8.00 Morning Service. Recorded at St Paul's Cathedral in August of 1979, on the occasion of the Thanksgiving Service for Lord Boothby's recovery from a broken leg. 9.00 News. With Helen Mirren. Weather. 9.10 Home Today. A magazine programme for Women. Sally Vincent talks to some very dull people who aren't having affairs. Jill Tweedie demonstrates how to Perform a bilateral testesectomy. Irma Kurtz talks to some women about their Problem of liking men. Bel Mooney talks to a woman who sailed singlehanded across the Ruislip Lido and Fergus Cashin explains the workings of Teetotallers Anonymous.
10.00 Un Peu de l'Autre. Starring Jeanne Moreau and Peter Barkworth. The story of a middle-aged man's pathetic, sad and sometimes hilarious quest for a bit on the side. Produced by Ken Trodd. Directed by Joe McGrath. (Made in sepia). With Polish subtitles.
12.00 Sports Forum. Silent recording of the fight between James J. Corbett and Bob Fitzsimmons with an inter-round talk by Christopher Booker on The Meaning of Aggression'. Plus pro-celebrity backgammon. This week Nick the Greek v. Denis Norden. Also, beagling from Chatsworth and cock-fighting from Epping Forest.
12.30 Man to Man. David Dimbleby talks to seven 'Men of the World'. 1: Frederic Raphael. 'Life is incredibly sad.' So says Frederic Raphael the novelist, poet, scriptwriter and homme de nos fours. He explains some of the agonies of success and shatters the myth that money, fame and charm bring happiness. Acutely sensitive, Raphael fled to the Dordogne ten years ago where he is now taken seriously by his family and local charcuterie. At his Suffolk home he talks about the unimportance of money. 1.00 News. With Ivy Compton-Burnett. Weather.
1.10 What Next? An afternoon entertainment for the self-employed. Bernard Levin describes his recent holiday in Siberia. Yehudi Menuhin shows you how to make yoghurt. Stella Richman talks about the difficulties she encountered in making her 30-part serial of The Cloister and the Hearth. Diana Quick explains how to write a novel and Frank Muir explains how to get an advance on it. John Betjeman visits Bethnal Green tube station.
3.30 Field and Feather. Did you know that the average vole weighs 1i oz? David Attenborough has spent 15 years filming a day in the life of a vole near Ipswich where inhabitants are fighting to save this creature from Japanese factory lorries.
4.25 Afternoon Drama. Cry For Help. Starring Peter Barkworth, George Cole, Gwen Watford. The story of two middleaged men's pathetic, sad and sometimes hilarious pursuit of a bit of spare.
5.30 Pun My Soul. A literary parlour game pontificated over by Robert Robinson. Angela Rippon reads the Fifth Decade of Cantos by Ezra Pound and Keith Waterhouse shows his collection of cigarette cards and other mementos from a deprived childhood. Alan Brien sets the quiz, 'When Did I Say That?'
7.00 News. With Edna O'Brien. Weather.
10.45 One For The Road. Presented live from pubs round about Britain.
11.45 And So To Bed. Late Night Movie. Starring Peter Barkworth and Capucine in a story of a middle-aged man's pathetic, futile and sometimes hilarious attempt to leave his wife, with tragic consequences. Brilliant cameo by John Hurt as Gerald Hamilton.
3.00am Closedown. With Vita Sackville-West and Academy of St Martin's-inthe-Fields. Bach and Berg.
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