Your Problems Solved
Dear Maly Q. A member of my social circle, a local celebrity of sorts, has created a Facebook group the title of which contains a glaring spelling error. I feel unable to accept her invitation to join, as doing so would generate notifications to my other 'friends', who no doubt would question my judgment. I now fear a fivideur in my relations with said celebrity who is sensitive to both slights and to any criticism of her work. Maiy, what should I do?
Name and address withheld A. Why not write on her message 'wall' that you are hying to join her group but the annoyingly overiredantic version of SpellCheck you have installed in your own computer will not let you do so as it does not recognise the spelling she has used for its title. Can she take this as an acknowledgement that you are there in spirit? Having been alerted to her error in this nonjudgmental way she can unchippiO, correct the spelling while holding no grudge against you.
Q. Haying offered to help at my daughter's Pony Club camp I fear I have bitten off more than I can chew. I have been asked to sleep in a room between the boys' and the girls' dormitories. I am supposed to leave my room door open so that I can be alert to any monkey business in the night should the boys try to go into the girls' room. Given that they almost certainly will have a go at this traditional prank and given that one or two of the boys have little or no respect for the authority of an 'old bag', I worry that I will have to resort to shrieking in an undignified manner when they make their inevitable excursion along the corridor and I order them to turn back. I do not wish to embarrass my daughter by haying to shriek in front of her.
Name withheld, Wilts A. Go to any ironmongers where you will find that most useful gadget, the door wedge. Purchase one. Explain to your daughter that she can spare herself the embarrassment of seeing her mother shrieking like a fishwife if she will discreetly insert the wedge under her domtitoty door once the others are safely in bed. The wedge will allow you to sidestep any challenge to your authority. You can even stay on in bed since the boys will only be able to open the door half an inch or so and will then have to go back to their room with their tails between their legs, mission unaccomplished.
Q. What do you do about guests who come too early to dinner? I am constantly rushing down in my dressing-gown to open the door to people who come too early and it enrages me. If they even come one minute early, I am furious because I have usually judged that minute to the second — time to put on my shoes, lipstick smile, eyeliner, etc.
Name and address withheld A. You can pre-empt this nuisance by the following method. Fix a notice to the door saying 'back at eight' or whatever time you have invited them for; then begin your preparations. Should anyone arrive before eight they will see the notice and either retreat to their car and wait or pushily ring the doorbell or your mobile anyway. Should they do this pull open the front door while apologising 'I am so sorry not to be ready for you. I had no idea it was eight o'clock!' Admitting that it is not yet eight o'clock your guests will insist on waiting quietly till you are ready.
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