28 MAY 1965, Page 7

School Song

'If I had been the Headmaster I would certainly have punished myself for such an offence, but it was the Headmaster's decision and he decided to let me off.'—Letter from a delinquent schoolboy.

If I were Headmaster of Eton And you were the family fool I'd have seen you were thoroughly beaten And, if need be, expelled from the school.

1 am not of the modernist fashion,

So keen to be cautious and kind. And do not believe in compassion To a crude and uncultured behind.

But you were determined to sweeten The kiss of the rod for the rule. And you were Headmaster of Eton And I was the family fool.

CHRISTOPHER HOLLIS