28 OCTOBER 1989, Page 28

Swiss role

Sir: I have lived in this Swiss paradise for 26 years. It is a somewhat unnatural life for foreigners. It is like living in a beautiful enclave or zoo, and we are the animals. We are beautifully looked after, our keepers are invariably polite and helpful, though naturally they do not have much to do with us socially.

When we leave our lovely habitat we are appalled by the dirt, the rudeness, the `She's got her grandfather's teeth.' inefficiency and the dangers, if not to life, certainly to limb in the island where we used to live. And however refreshing it is to laugh and be silly (our keepers are never silly) and listen to stories in which the teller has cut a poor figure, we are delighted to be back in our beautiful park where everything is so peaceful, so smoothly run and so clean.

I may say at this juncture that we're pretty old!

George Morton

14 Avenue de Montchoiri, 1006 Lausanne, Switzerland