28 SEPTEMBER 1991, Page 29

You cannot be serious

I AM sorry to learn that Charles Haughey, the Irish Prime Minister, plans to give his scandalised country a serious fraud squad. There are quite enough of them already, and I am not impressed with ours. He and his country should clearly be the first to set up a ludicrous fraud squad, an engaging fraud squad, an old fraud squad, or (in Mr Haughey's words) a grotesque, unbeliev- able, bizarre, unprecedented fraud squad. I could tell it where to start.