COMPETITION

No. 619: 011a podrida

Set by Adam Khan: The Times reported recently that, according to Rude Pravo, the Communist party newspaper, Czechoslovakia is producing too many books on cookery, Catholicism and masochism. Competitors are invited to submit a short extract from a book about cookery, Catholicism and maso- chism. Limit 100 words. Entries, marked 'Competition No. 619', by 11 September.

No. 616: The winners

Charles Seaton reports: • Competitors were asked to pick a subject from the current week's SPECTATOR and comment in a clerihew or a limerick. Generally speaking, the clerihews, slightly more numerous, were also the more humorous. With only two rhymes and a few words the limerick is a bit of a trick—but so too is the clerihew. Some of the better had—with reluctance—to be eliminated by the setter; the law of libel is not pliable. Not unnaturally there was a flood of entries; from these streams the themes which most frequently occurred were Cromwell, Oh! Calcuttal. and (oddly) Miss Isabella Bird.

Malcolm Burn, for giving the solution to the week's chess problem particularly deserved to earn a prize. For his win he receives a guinea—as do the first four. Of the many more who deserve half-guineas un- stinted, prizes can go, I am afraid, only to those printed.

The new book on Brendan Behan, Though no paean Of praise, at least lets you know what made this talented Mick Tick.

Tim O'Dowda

Corinna Adam,

A New S talesman madam.

Thinks The word 'Fascist' stinks.

H. A. C. Evans

When Brogan amends makes to Boz We're left where we started becos So fluent his pen is In writing of Denis Too little we hear about Boz.

L. L. C. Evans

There was a young lady called Bird, Whose blood by adventure was stirred. From Khartoum to Korea She defied diarrhoea

On a diet of poi and bean curd.

Steven Hamilton

White's knight gives a check on King 6; Black's king retreats from such tricks; But Queen 4 for the knight And black gives up the tight.

For his rook's pawn is now in a fix.

Malcolm Burn

To sweet young Miss Bird It never occurred On her travels she might Become Turkish Delight.

E. 0. Parrott

You can go banco

(Says a SPECTATOR) review that any book

on Franco Will meet with cries of 'Fascist swine!' From those who toe the party line.

Ru/us Stone

Maurice Ashley, Somewhat rashly, Avers that Cromwell Kept his aplomb well.

I. D. Crispin

Wits who, two months ago, mocked the Heath Teeth

Now applaud his bonhomme

Aplomb.

R14 f us Stone

Oh! Calcutta!

Is Tynan's Bread and Butta.

But I doubt if he oughter Cast such bread upon the water.

Mrs V. R. Ornicrod

For authors in need - Giles Gordon wants Pay as you read. And argues that no one is too thrifty To resent the repeal of the Public Libraries Act of IS5u

Vera Telt., r

PLR Would go far To make the life of a writer Brighter.

William Hodson

Harold said to his colleagues.`Now see No leaks and no memoirs must be Exploited by men

Who knew Number Ten 'Cos I'm selling the lot to Lord T!'

F. A. V. Madden

Ingmar's flicks Are full of his tricks.

Odd camera angles Of extra-marital tangles.

Maud G race( !lurch

Sir Denis's interest in Dickens Quickens After years of the quackery Of Thackeray

. Adam Khan