29 FEBRUARY 1992, Page 45

No. 1719 Snibs

'Nibs' are 'news in brief items. Let us call `snibs' especially silly or surrealist items, such as the one Bernard Levin caught the other week: 'Supplies of condoms to Egypt have been cut off by the United States after reports that millions were resold as bal- loons.' Please invent four `snibs' (max- imum 30 words each). Entries to 'Competi- tion No. 1719' by 13 March.