Absolutely barmy
From Mr Dan Clark Sir: The ex-National Servicemen whose let- ters you published (15 July) seem to have experienced two years that were totally unrecognisable. In my National Service, one learnt quickly that there were certain strategies one had to employ in order to survive — bearing in mind that there were three suicides at Catterick Camp during my time there. It was possible to be an earnest hearty like the people whose let- ters you published, but I met only one of those during my time. We called him Smartyboots and were certain he was a twit. Or, secondly, you could feign illness, madness, complete incompetence. A fellow `inmate' at Catterick created an imaginary dog, and escaped as a result after eight months or so. But the vast majority of us decided during the early part of training that the most sensible strategy was to treat the whole thing as a sick joke, so that the idiocy of 'bull', drill, lankers', training NCOs with minimal brains, guard duty, kit inspection and the whole nonsensical para- phernalia could be converted into some- thing hilarious. Yes, I did march my pla- toon into the gents on Adjutant's Parade, because I was always confused between left and right. Yes, I was excused boots for most of my time, because I developed imaginary tendonitis. Yes, I was ordered off the range when I showed the officer that my Sten gun wouldn't stop firing — he survived but was cross. I could go on, as could many others. I wear my charity National Service medal with bashful pride, because I turned something boring and stupid that most of us were totally unsuit- able for into something that was good for a giggle and that I have been able to write about and dine off ever since.
Dan Clark
(Formerly 23077970 Acting/Sgt Clark D, RAEC) Worthing, Sussex
Previous page
