YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. I am about to move into an old rectory In a lovely part of the country and will shortly be interviewing people to help with the garden. I have very clear ideas about what I want, so can you help me to circum- vent a certain problem which I anticipate will raise its head — viz the gardeners wishing to put their own design oars in, bringing presents of inappropriate plants which are not to my personal taste, etc? This has happened in the past — invari- ably the plants went in as I did not wish to hurt anyone's feelings but, since I would wince every time I walked past them, I ended up hurting my own. How can I dis- courage creative input from whomever I employ while still retaining their loyalty and sense of purpose?
N.W, Northumberland A. You should nip potential interference in the bud. Trick your new gardeners by explaining to them during the interview that your project is to recreate in its entir- ety a favourite garden you remember from your childhood. You will do this as a trib- ute to 'an aunt or other relation now no longer with us'. 'Sadly there are no pho- tographs — it's all in my own head,' you can say, 'but it will come back to me bit by bit as the planting progresses.' In this way you can reject inappropriate offerings by saying pleasantly, 'Oh, how lovely they are,
Dear Mary.. .
what a shame my aunt never had any gladi- oli. It means we can't use them if we want to be true to her memory.'
Q. I am going to stay with a boy who has been a friend of mine since I was born. We normally share a bedroom, but I haven't been to stay for a bit and, now that we are 12, I don't want to sleep in the same room as him as it would be embarrassing. I am reluctant to say this to his mother. What should I do?
A.W., London SW11 A. Tell the boy's mother that you have sud- denly started snoring and/or sleep-talking, so can you have a separate bedroom to avoid disturbing your little friend's sleep?
Q. How can one invite one member of a married couple but not the other? I am tak- ing some friends to a charity concert in a church and would love to invite a certain local woman whom I like a lot but her hus- band less so. If he is not enjoying some- thing, he tends to make everyone else's life a misery by complaining and looking furi- ous. He would certainly do a lot of sighing and shifting uncomfortably in his pew if he were not enjoying this concert. However, since this man travels abroad a lot of the time, it would be more than likely that he would not be available to join the party in any case. How can I be absolutely sure that he will be unable to accept before issuing an innocent invitation to both of them?
ME., Wiltshire A. Ring up the woman, chat for a bit, and then say casually, 'Oh, by the way, are you and Cuthbert around on the 5th?' If she says, 'I am, but he will be away,' you can say 'Oh, what a shame he won't be here, but would you like to come on your own to a concert I'm organising?' If, on the other hand, she says, 'Yes, we will both be here! Why, what's up?' you can simply say, `Well then you must listen to the Proms on Radio Three! There's a wonderful concert If you have a problem, please write to Dear Mary, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
Previous page
