Which watch?
Victoria Saxton
Apractical time-keeping necessity or a frivolous fashion accessory? The opinion on time-keeping devices seems to divide neatly into two camps: pretty versus practical. The divide, however, runs far deeper and has wider-reaching consequences. The watch one chooses to wear reveals volumes about its owner — whether you want it to or not.
Once upon a time (in the 16th century for practical time-keepers) well-to-do ladies would have elaborately embellished watches pinned to their dresses, or on ribbons around their necks. Equally well-to-do men would have a miniature sundial-style contraption which they would proudly display whenever the time needed to be told. Soon the sundial contraptions got smaller; clever men up in the Swiss Alps worked out how to mechanise these devices, strap them to your wrist and do away with messy sand and ‘what to do if it was cloudy’ issues. The use and wearing of a watch, however, is not simply segregated by sex; it is and was divided by use. Or so people like to think.
In reality, though, the wearing of watches is about status. Whether you believe you’re buying a practical, three grand, tell-the-timein-Hong-Kong, enamel Tag Heuer because when you go diving (and handily Tags can withstand up to 200m depths) you really want to make sure you know how long you have got before your oxygen runs out, or you’re buying that cheap Casio because you just want to know what time it is, you’re making a status choice. One says, ‘Look at me! I am a sportsman, I can afford to go diving in the Caymans!’ The other is inverse watch snobbery: ‘I’m not fooled by fashion luxury, I just want to know what time it is.’ One could uncharitably translate this as, ‘I’m too broke to buy the watch I really wanted so I’m going to pretend I didn’t want a flash one anyway.’ Watches can be split into four camps: faux sporty pro, fashion bling, timeless elegance and inverse ‘practical’ snobbery.
Tiger Woods wears Tag Heuer, alternating between the Link Quartz Chronograph and the Golf watch he helped design. Maria Sharapova dazzles opponents on the courts with her pink Glamour Diamonds model, the bezel being fixed-set with a meagre 120 diamonds (0.75 carat). Lewis Hamilton, astronauts, sailors and all sorts of real-life sporting heroes wear the Tag brand. Mere mortals can aspire to such greatness by buying the same watches too — or that’s what they want you to think. Walking down the street with a chunky, titanium-coated, swivel-bezel, scratch-resistant, sapphire-faced watch, designed to go with the SLR Mercedes, who can’t help but feel like a sporting star?
Whether or not wearing one of these timepieces will actually help you achieve Tiger Woods’s handicap is another matter. You may be a faux sporty pro watch-wearer, but the point is these are serious grown-up boys’ toys, and let’s face it, they’re pretty cool. Just wearing one will make you feel the possibility of sporting greatness.
As technological innovation speeds ahead, gadgetry on watches is pushing the price band up to six figures. These timepieces are not for the average man on the street, though — they are more fashion bling than anything else. Classic watch-makers have realised that times are moving on (excuse the pun) and even Rolex has succumbed with diamond-encrusted versions of their Oyster Perpetual Cosmograph Daytona range. De Beers is so intent on displaying their array of diamonds that it’s decided not to bother putting any numerals, or hands, on its Mini Talisman Suntime watch face. Instead, in the centre lies a rough, unpolished diamond. Total carat weight: 2.10. Chanel ceramic diamond watches are a sparkling must for Wags, rock stars and Paris Hilton. The Dior Crystal, revealed last autumn, was designed by John Galliano himself. Bling watches are in. The Beckhams have Theo Fennell design theirs. The more diamonds the better. You do not, however, have to be a Hilton sister to afford a fashion bling watch. Folli Follie has a more reasonable Urban Chic Collection starting from £170. Only time will tell, though, whether wearing a bling watch makes you a fashion victim or a trendsetter.
No such debate tars the timeless elegance camp. The Cartier Tank, as worn by Princess Caroline of Monaco, Jemima Khan and friends, is above and beyond fashion. This is a beautiful, elegantly understated piece of craftsmanship that transcends fashion cycles. Tiffany, Chopard and Bvlgari pieces grace the wrists of elegant men and women. Along with Patek Phillipe, Audemars Piguet, Vacheron Constantin and Rolex, these watches will always be timeless (although not literally, as that would defeat their very purpose).
The watch has never merely been a means of telling the time. The watch is an accessory — hi-tech jewellery at its best; a status symbol that will always be above the quarrel of practical versus pretty. Even the fact that movie stars like Brad Pitt and Uma Thurman might only wear a Tag because they’re paid to do so does not take away from their allure and appeal. But pay attention. Does your watch say what you want it to?
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