Q. A new woman has joined our group of early-morning
swimmers at our local pool. She’s very nice and friendly but she will insist on singing in the shower. This is the time of day when I like to keep my head clear of troubling thoughts as I prepare to write my book, but her singing is driving me mad. It’s not that it’s out of tune; actually she does not have a bad voice, but she doesn’t know all the words of this folk tune she sings. And the singing intrudes on my private thoughts so that I emerge from the shower furious. Then, as I leave, she gives a friendly smile and wishes me goodbye, which only adds insult to injury. What can I do?
T.D., London SE5 A. This nuisance sounds like thoughtlessness rather than passive aggression. Use the following method to make this cheery swimmer aware that her early-morning exuberance is inappropriate. Bring a friend to the pool with you and orchestrate timing so that all three of you are showering simultaneously and side by side. During a pause in the singing, your friend should rap loudly on your cubicle door, using your name as she remonstrates. ‘Tiffany! Don’t you know that singing in the shower is totally antisocial first thing in the morning? It’s the most appalling invasion of mental privacy. No one likes it!’ At which point you can reply, ‘It’s not me.’ Smile in friendly but meaningful manner when the singer emerges from her cubicle.
If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.
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