SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 243 Report by M. H. Middleton The

menus of Lyons Corner Houses used to offer 'Pain Grille (National Wholemeal).' Gastro- nomical snobberies culled from a recent continental trip included, from Paris, a pot of 'D'undee' marmalade and, from Florence, a dish, not of scampi, but ' Dublin Prawns.' A prize of £5 was offered for six similar conceits, real or imaginary, from six different countries.

This proved a bit too much for most competitors--perhaps the terms were too vague and too narrow. What one looked for was either the lunatic oddity which, by its very improbability, had the ring of truth; or, alternatively, inventions with the sparkle of a secondary meaning, which yet should not too far overstep the bounds of credi- bility. It did not seem enough merely to translate (to serve 'Abitandi di Whitstable' in Italy, 'Estomac de Mouton a l'Ecossaise' for you-know-what in Edinburgh).

I set my face too against the humble and improbable pun ('Moss Broth' from Eire, 'Cold Rabbi Salad' from Palestine, 'Choco- late Moose' from Finland—hard though it was to resist a reader living in Frog Cottage. What ambiguities in her 'Pie Maison'1).

The real snobbismc that over reaches its ambition is usually something small yet intimately bound up with and somehow revealing of national characteristics. J. P. Comyn, for example, scored a bull with his 'Northern Irish Stew' from Belfast and his 'Poached Plovers' Eggs' from Dublin. When it came to the political invention, chances were missed right and left. 'Canard de Bombay' belongs surely to Pakistan, not Guatemala? R. 13. Browning's 'Bombski Muscovski' for Russian ice-cream qualified, but Major A. W. Dicker scooped this particular pool with his'Lobster a l'American Warmongers' from one of Mr. Attlee's banquets in China.

When it came to home territory, we all knew where we were, and I was able to assemble this attractive menu: Hors d'ceuvre varies au choix from trolley (l. M. Connor) Consommé Fausse Tortue (W. Bernard Wakc) Ocean Trout (Herring) (Sir John Craig)

Or

Lofoten Fillets (Boiled Cod) (L. E. Honnor) Hachis de Pains Sucres (D. L. L. Clarke), served with Pommes chips (R. Kennard Davis) Cabbage a l'Anglais (Boiled Cabbage) (Major A. W. Dicker) Cauliflower au Cretin (Marianne Rover)

GAteaux d'Eccics (Joyce Johnson) or Bain Baba (Joyce Johnson) (All sweets on these premises served with genuine synthetic cream) (H. S. Micklem)

Fromage au lait Somerset (Cheddar Cheese)

(Marianne Rover) or, in Wales, Cheese sur Toast (D. P. M. Michael),

No competitor rang the bell with more than four of his entries. I recommend that J. P. Comyn be awarded £1, and that the remainder of the prize-money be shared between R. B. Browning, D. L. L. Clarke, Sir John Craig, Major A. W. Dicker, H. S. Micklem and Marianne Rover. Three of the winning entries are printed.

PRIZES (J. P. COMYN) BELFAST: Northern Irish Stew.

MADRID: Soviet, Salad.

BosroN: Duke of Norfolk Turkey.

DUBLIN: Poached Plovers' Eggs.

Borminv: Aylesbury Duck (Worcester Apple Sauce).

ROME: Fatted Calf. FRANCE: D'Evils Montes (Devils on horseback) EGYPT: Chiops el Amb (Lamb chops). GERMANY: HOhere Bildungsanstalt Pudding

(College pudding).

CHINA: Chop-stewy (Mutton stew).

DENMARK: Skotsk Brotsk (Scotch broth). U.S.S.R.: Bombski Muscovski (Moscow ice cream).

(D. L. L. CLARKE) ENGLAND: Hachis de Pains Sueths. U.S.: Ham Bourget.

GERMANY: Wurster Sauce. ITALY: Vol Avanti I SPAIN: Oya el Povero. FRANCE: Anglais on Horseback.